Tie Ins
by LoLoLaLoco
Summary: A series of oneshots that tie into "Call of the Apocalypse" on the account "Pair of Britches". Steve/OFC Bruce/OFC rated M to be safe
1. Dancing Queen

"Alice?"

"Hm"

"We should go dancing" Steve said out of the blue one day,

"Not that I'm ashamed to see you in public but why?" I asked. We were lying in his bed giving Vivian and Bruce some space,

"Well you were a deb so you're probably the only girl I'll ever really get to go dancing with who won't think I'm lame"

"Oh honey" I laughed propping myself up on my elbows, "Dancing now is a very different thing"

"Yeah I guessed it would be" Steve said, "I still want to go though. I've never danced in my life"

"Really? I thought that was the done thing when you were younger"

"Yeah but girls aren't exatcly lining up to dance with a guy they might step on and then when the war started it really didn't seem all that important"

"Alright but be warned things are really quite different now"

The next day I found somewhere Steve and I could go dancing and I bought a new outfit for the occasion,

"That's what you're wearing?" Steve asked when he got a look at the dress. It was a red strapless number short enough to raise eyebrows but long enough to cover any dignity I had left,

"I told you didn't I? Everything's changed" so Steve put on a pair of jeans and a shirt and we grabbed a cab to SoHo and waited in line to have our hands stamped.

When we got inside the club culture shock really set in for Steve,

"This is dancing?" He asked as I checked my bag but kept some cash for beer in my bra,

"Oh the times they are a changin" I quoted leaving Steve looking dumbstruck, "remind me to loan you some of my records" I said dragging him to the bar, "two beers!" I yelled at the barman who came back quickly with two budwisers. Turning to Steve I went to take the money out of my bra but he stopped me and paid for the drinks himself,

"So how do you dance here?" Steve asked in my ear,

"Finish up and I'll show you!" I said back quickly drinking my beer and leading Steve out onto the floor. I pulled Steve close and moved my body against his ryhthmically,

"This is dancing?" Steve asked as I put his hands on my hips,

"This is dancing" I said pressing myself closer to Steve

As the night progressed Steve was happy just to let me dance on my own while he took in the changes in the city he grew up in,

"I'm so hot! Let's go outside" I said pulling Steve through the crowd and grabbing my bag on the way out,

"So is there anywhere in the city where they still dance the way I remember?" Steve asked peeling off his jacket to give to me

"I'm not sure. You could probably ask a cabbie" I said pulling Steve's too big jacket around me to protect from the frigid December air. It would probably snow soon.

So Steve hailed a cab but the guy had no idea where we could go to dance the way Steve remembered so we just drove back to his apartment in Brooklyn,

"I have an idea" I said, "stay here" I had quite a lot of clothes in Steve's mostly for playing dress up since it embarrased the hell out of him. One dress I had in particular I'd found in a vintage shop in the village and was Forties themed. Steve almost had a heart attack when I'd worn it.

Quickly dressing in said dress I re did my hair and make up and grabbing my iPod from my bag went back into the living room where I'd left Steve,

"What are you doing?" He asked when I put the iPod in the little dock I'd bought,

"Patience is a virtue" I teased finding the right track and pressing play.

The sound of Johan Strauss filled the little apartment as I walked over to Steve, "So Cap can I have this dance?" I asked softly

"Sure you can" Steve smiled and took my hand spinning me across the tiny apartment

"Looks like you finally got to go dancing afterall" I smiled

"Thanks Alice"

"Anytime" I said as Steve dipped me so my hair was touching and kissed me softly on the lips,

"I love you" he whispered

"Steve I -"

"Don't worry. I'm pretty sure I know how you feel. You don't have to say it if I don't want to"

"I want to. I love you too. Idiot" just then it started to snow and for a moment everything was right with the world

* * *

**So Hana and I have been writing a bit of an Avengers crack fiction thing and this ties in with that**

**To read the story go to fanfiction(dot)net(slash)~pairofbritches**

**8D**


	2. Honky Tonk Woman

Alice liked country music.

Not many people were aware of this fact. Of course there were the boys she'd slept with in Charlotte but after she left she was never close enough to another human being for them to know anything about her other than she got the job done with 'no fuss no muss' the only other person who knew the southern girl liked country music was Vivian and she had never really paid much mind she figured of course Alice would like Country Music being from the south.

Of course from time to time Alice got homesick for Charlotte and she'd wear her cut off blue jeans and tie a plaid shirt up around her stomach and wear her cowboy boots and little straw hat out and spend the night in some honky tonk bar somewhere and take home some redneck who had a gun rack in his truck and they'd be together for maybe a week before Alice would end things and sometimes literally kick the man out of wherever the two found themselves living. Or she would just get up and leave the man's apartment and she'd go back to being the Alice Vivian knew well.

It was June when she got homesick for the south again and she started wearing her cut off Levi jean shorts and tied up shirts with cowboy boots she seemed to pull from the alternate dimension that was her closet. Of course with the company Alice and Vivian kept it was only a matter of time before someone said something.

Someone being Tony Stark of course who, after a week of Alice's accent becoming more pronounced and her humming country songs, decided to say something,

"So what you get homesick and turn into the biggest redneck known to woman kind"

"I'm not a redneck" Alice said clicking her tongue they were all spending time in Central Park which Stark had somehow managed to pay to have cordoned off for the afternoon no one asked how they just went with it although Vivian suspected it had something to do with minimising the amount of people Bruce came into contact with,

"No you're a debutante but I've never seen a debutante dress like that" Tony said

"Well I'm guessing, and no offence Pepper, you haven't seen a lot of girls dressed" Alice said making everyone even Pepper Potts, Stark's assistant turned girlfriend, laugh,

"It's true. The amount of girls I had to help find their underpants or shoes when he was done with them, if I had a nickel I'd be richer than him by now" Pepper said

"You're exaggerating" Tony said

"I don't think she is" Steve said, "I'd wager you've seen more naked girls than anyone here"

"Well it's not hard to see more naked girls than you Rodgers" Stark laughed

"Yes but there is a limit to the amount any one man should see" I defended, "I don't think even Casanova saw as many naked women as you have"

"Does it dint your pride to have your girlfriend defend you?" Stark teased Steve

"Nope" Steve said simply making everyone laugh,

"That's you told" Vivian laughed

The six of them stayed in the park until nightfall when the girls all went back to Alice and Vivian's apartment to change their clothes since Stark said he was taking everyone out that evening,

"I love your clothes!" Pepper said once she got a look at the built in closet Alice had installed once it was confirmed the pair would be staying in the city,

"And that's only her summer clothes" Vivian scoffed drinking beer and sitting on Alice's king size bed, how she fit it in the tiny room was a mystery only Alice knew. The bed had a wrought iron frame and Alice said it reminded her of her bed at home in Charlotte.

Eventually the girls dressed and Alice did both hers and Pepper's hair while Vivian laughed called them 'big girls' and drank beer,

"How does it take you all that long to get ready?" Stark asked once the girls met up with the others again, "And the arsonist doesn't even look different!"

"That's because I didn't change genius" Vivian said

So the six of us piled into a limo Stark had rented for the evening and it took us to some super exclusive club in SoHo where we were all presented with champagne,

"Not that I'm complaining mind but aint there any chance of getting a bud?" I asked downing my champagne in one gulp,

"You really are southern aren't you?" Stark laughed

"You doubted I was? I carry a Smith and Wesson six shot revolver, I have a shotgun under my bed and I use buck shots with it. I make moonshine in my tub"

"Yeah and I couldn't take a bath for a week" Vivian huffed

"Yes but you drank most of the shine" I said

"Do you have a permit for that shotgun?"

"No I don't have a permit for it. Do you have a permit to ask stupid questions? I mean what makes you think anything about my weapons collection is legal?"

"Fair point that was a stupid question, so I'll ask another one" Stark turned to Steve, "What's she like in bed?"

Steve choked on his champagne as did Bruce and Pepper. Vivian being used to Alice asking strange questions like the one Stark had just asked simply looked around her and wondered if the club would miss anything that would fit into her pockets,

"I – uh don't think that's appropriate" Steve said trying to relive the coughing fit he was having,

"No it's ok you can tell him" Alice said, "I'm gonna get some beer" Alice stood up and carefully smoothed out the wrinkles on her dress and moved gracefully though the crowd returning in five minutes with six beers, "Told the guy to put it on your tab hope you don't mind" Alice said handing Stark his beer, "No of course not" Pepper said

"How come you get to answer for me?" Stark asked

"Because you're her bitch" Vivian said simply

The six of them stayed in their little booth for the majority of the night until the girls got hungry so the limo was summoned again so they could all go for something to eat. Stark suggested a sushi place in Manhattan but the girls rejected his idea and told the limo driver an Indian man by the name of Rahjeet to head to the nearest Burger King.

Once there the girls piled out of the limo and rushed inside all desperate for something low class to eat. They weren't used to the fancy lifestyle Stark was so they ordered their food, Vivian's and Pepper's came first so they grabbed a table big enough to seat six while Alice waited on hers.

Alice was swaying slightly to whatever music was playing in her head when a man came up behind her. He was at least six three, had a very ugly tribal tattoo on his neck and wore a denim waistcoat with nothing underneath along with a pair of ripped and distressed jeans and a pair of steel capped boots. He had a large bleached Mohawk and a nose ring,

"Hey there honey" he said his breath smelling of stale beer and cigarettes, "You here with anybody?"

"My boyfriend and my friends" Alice said pointing to the table with everyone sat at it. Steve tried to get up but Vivian told him to sit back down,

"She's got this"

The staff behind the counter was clearly afraid of this man and his similarly dressed companions it was obvious by their actions and body language the moment the men walked in,

"Why don't you leave your friends and come with us. We can show you a good time"

"What makes you think I'm not having a good time?" Alice said calmly

"Well you're in burger king at three am and not out partying"

"I've been out partying. I'm hungry hence why I'm here"

"Oh you're hungry well I've got an eight inch sausage for you right here" the man said grabbing his crotch,

"More like three erect with a pair of rolled up tube socks down there" Alice said her eyes flicking from the man's crotch to his face, "My boyfriend now? Well that's a real big sausage right there I can hardly fit it all in" Alice said making Steve go red, "So why don't you and your friends leave" she turned back to the counter where the cashier had just handed her a tray with her food on it.

Alice made to walk past the men with her tray but the man with the Mohawk flipped her try over spilling her drink and her fries everywhere,

"Now he's done it" Vivian said sipping her own drink,

"My food" Alice screamed grabbing the man by his nose ring and bringing her knee up into his crotch and slamming her fist into his nose.

Once the man was on the ground Alice kicked him in the ribs as hard as she could making him groan in pain, "Come pick your friend up" she ordered the men standing by the door, "And don't you dare come back here again" she yelled after them, "Hi sorry can I get some new fries and a new drink?" Alice asked sweetly turning back to the cashier,

"Sure. No charge" she said handing Alice a drink and fries and even one of the little toys for the kids meal, a tiny Captain America, "Oh look it's an itty bitty you!" Alice said once she'd sat down with the others, "I'm so putting this on the shelf above my bed. It's adorable"

"You're really scary you know that" Stark said, "I mean one minute you're sweetness and nice and the next you do something like that" he said gesturing widely to the spot where Alice had just broken a man,

"And you're only figuring this out now" Vivian laughed, "She's the scariest bitch I know!"

"Flattery will get you everywhere" Alice said, "I think I'm gonna head home after this. That idiots nose ring hurt my hand" she said shaking her hand a little,

"I'm staying with you" Vivian said to Bruce immediately, "The walls are thin and she's loud"

"I am not" Alice protested

"Yes. You are. Especially after something like this, remember that guy in Arkansas?"

"Oh yeah"

"What guy in Arkansas?" Steve asked

"Alice beat the crap out of some inbred hillbilly and then found some farm boy to screw for a week" Vivian explained, "And she was loud. I had never heard the phrase 'yee-haw' used in that context before and I don't need to hear it again"

Everyone looked at Alice, who simply took a drink out of her cola before turning to a slightly embarrassed Steve and saying,

"Giddy up cowboy"

* * *

**Again this ties in with the other story on the other account **

**So if you're confused you should go and read it**

**And leave a review**


	3. Shopping is deadly

Ever since Alice had met Pepper Potts, Tony Stark's assistant turned girlfriend they had formed a fast friendship.

The two of them could be girly together, Pepper would invite Alice around to Stark tower when Tony was stuck in the lab with Bruce and the two would act like teenagers staying up all night and gossiping or doing each other's hair.

Saturday's were put aside for the two to go shopping, once Steve asked the question that had the rest of the Avengers boys ducking for cover,

"Don't you think you have enough shoes?"

Alice smiled sweetly at Steve which made Vivian duck for cover,

"She's the devil! When she smiles like that run for your life!" she yelled fleeing the lab. Steve couldn't understand. Yes Alice had _violent_ tendencies but she couldn't be that bad really and he'd only asked about shoes.

Alice cut him to ribbons and left the lab her ponytail swishing behind her as she linked arms with Pepper and the two walked off talking at the speed of light.

One Saturday the girls asked Natasha if she'd like to come with them seeing as she never really spent much time with the group so one Saturday she met Alice and Pepper outside Stark tower and from their vantage point Steve, Tony and Bruce watched three of the most dangerous women they knew walk away talking as if they were old friends.

This went on for a while and no one batted an eyelash anymore. Tony readily handed Pepper a credit card, Steve would kiss Alice on the cheek and Natasha would just give Clint a small wave before they set off only to come back well after dark arms laden with bags their feet aching but with smiles on their faces.

It was late August when trouble stirred again. This time the girls were trying to get Vivian to come shopping with them,

"I DON'T WANT TO GO!" Vivian yelled clinging to the door of the lab wile Alice tried to pry her off, she'd asked for Steve's help but Vivian shot him a look and almost bit his hand when he tried to touch her so he retreated swiftly, "I have enough clothes" Vivian said still clinging to the door "I don't need more"

"It'll be fun come on!" Alice said trying to convince the smaller British girl while the others looked on

"Making explosives is fun! Shopping ... clothes shopping is not" Vivian argued, Alice sighed and tickled the smaller girl making her let go of the door in her attempt to stop her friend,

"I didn't want it to come to this" Alice said "Come with me or I'll tell Bruce more of your embarrassing secrets"

"Friggen whore" Vivian said bitterly

"Not anymore" Alice said simply making everyone stare at both her and Steve

"Oh I'm sorry friggen ex-whore" Vivian sad narrowing her eyes at Alice

"There you go, now are you going to come peacefully or shall I tell Bruce about that shrine you made?"

"I made no such thing!" Vivian protested before adding "It's a box full of clippings" under her breath

"And would you like me to show him the box?" Alice asked

"You have all of my hate" Vivian growled at her friend

"It's your choice. Either he sees the box or you come quietly" Alice folded her arms over her chest

"As long as I get to eat pastries" Vivian said

"As many as you like" Alice agreed

"Deal" Vivian said, "I am so burning that box later"

"If you can find it"

"You've been in my room again haven't you?"

"I was looking for that high collared shirt

"You have enough shirts! Stop stealing my stuff D8

"Borrowed and I washed it and ironed it for you

"Ask next time"

"You were otherwise occupied"

"Let's go get this day of horror done with"

"That's my girl. Come on it really won't be that bad"

"Lies all lies"

"No if I was going to lie to you I'd tell you I didn't hear anything when I attempted to make waffles in the middle of the night the other evening

"SILENCE NOW"

"After you then

Finally the girls left and Tony, Bruce and Steve were left in the lab wondering what the hell had just happened. With a strange mix of blackmail, promises and threats Alice had managed to change Vivian's mind completely.

They finally understood why Fury wanted her so badly; if they thought she was scary before they were doubly afraid of her now.

Vivian and Alice finally made it to the ground floor of Stark tower where Pepper and Natasha were waiting on them with oddly enough Thor,

"What is _he_ doing here?" Vivian asked

"He was curious about earth shops so we said he could come" Pepper said sweetly,

"I have been told it is the job of any male's present to protect the ladies and to carry their bags" Thor said smiling broadly.

Vivian turned to Alice who just shrugged and they set off into town drawing odd looks mostly because they were with Thor but the girls just ignored the stares and got on with their day. They stopped frequently in electronic stores and cafes so Vivian would feel welcome and as he had been told Thor carried all bags and purchases.

The girls returned as usual late in the evening and tallied up their purchases. Alice went so far as to publicly and very loudly talk to Natasha about the things they bought in Victoria's Secret making Steve go red. Clint of course remained impassive,

"We should go clubbing!" Pepper announced suddenly,

"Oh no I draw the line at clubbing with you people!" Vivian said storming off even though she wouldn't admit it she _did_ have a good time with the girls and maybe, maybe, she'd go again next week.

Of course when Vivian was awakened at six am on Sunday morning by the drunken trio stumbling into the apartment singing 'Living La Vi Da Loca' loudly she thought they wouldn't live to see next week

* * *

**Last one that ties into the story on the other account**

**Read it if you're intrigued by this oneshot**

**And review **


	4. Science Magic

Vivian was in the lab on SHIELD's Heli Pad again, after defeating Apocalypse she'd started spending a lot of time there and no one quite knew why until she started asking Dr Banner questions about his work with Gamma Radiation,

"You wouldn't be trying to re create my experiment would you?" Bruce asked the young Brit,

"What no? I'm building something" was all Vivian would say on the matter, it got to the point where even Nick Fury had to step in and ask what she was up to but all she would say was she was building something and it would benefit everyone.

Eventually Alice had enough and she stormed into the lab one day to find out once and for all what was going on,

"Vivian Rose what _are_ you doing in here? And don't say 'I'm building something' or so help me God I will not be responsible for my actions" even the few lab techs had to cower back from the two women when Vivian stood up to face Alice.

It was pretty much well known that the two were practically family but then even sisters fought from time to time although most sisters didn't have access to weapons grade material or bullets made from said material,

"What's the big friggen deal?" Vivian yelled, "I'm building something so what why is everyone so obsessed with what I'm building"

"Because you have this habit of building thing that explode!" Alice yelled back

"This won't explode!"

"Then what the hell is it?"

"A PORTAL GUN" Vivian yelled making Alice take a step back and start laughing hysterically

"A portal gun? Oh my god" Alice had to hand on to Steve who'd come with her to prevent bloodshed to keep herself upright, "You know what Viv go ahead"

"I will" Vivian pouted not happy about being laughed at. Alice left the lab still clutching her sides from laughter,

"What's a portal gun?" Bruce asked wearily, yes Alice had laughed it off but then Alice's moral compass was pretty skewed at her own admission,

"It's a gun but what it'll do is if I shoot it at the wall here it'll create a portal and if I shoot it again at the floor it'll be the other end of the portal so I could walk through the portal in the wall and come up through the one on the floor" Vivian said

"That's a novel idea but how does it work?" Bruce asked

"No idea" Vivian said making Bruce laugh,

"That's why you were asking about Gamma Radiation"

"Yeah I thought maybe it would help. But it doesn't look like it and Stark's ark thingy won't be much help either" Vivian pouted, "So I'm kind of stuck"

"Why don't you ask Fury about the tesseract? We don't have it any more but I'm sure he still has a sample somewhere" Bruce said,

"Nah that thing just causes trouble" Vivian said, "If only Aperture Science was real!" Vivian cried throwing her hands in the air, "I mean I have the gun but it just doesn't make portals yet"

"You built the gun?"

"Sure you can find the blueprints for it online" Vivian said, "I just can't get it to make portals"

"Can I have a look at it?" Bruce asked

"Sure" Vivian handed Bruce her gun and let him look over it.

The two spent a lot of time in the lab that week, even though they both knew they'd never get it to make Portals with the technology that was available to them it was something to do together and it was pretty fun


	5. Time Warp

The girls had a secret, what it was Tony Stark wasn't quite sure. All he knew for sure was that they were hiding something. They would at random intervals all disappear and not return until some two hours later.

Tony had always been an impatient child. At Christmas he would always wait until his parents had gone to sleep before sneaking down to see what Santa Claus had brought him, even after his mother had died he still waited until his father was passed out drunk – not a hard feat – and once again sneak down to see what he'd been bought.

Tony didn't like secrets either. It was something he despised actually people keeping secrets. He supposed he had some deep seeded trust issues which went unresolved after his mother had died. He decided to grill his fellow male Avengers to see if they knew anything about the girl's suspicious behaviour,

"They're girls Tony what could they really be getting up to?" Bruce had said,

"Alice, Natasha and the Arsonist anything" Tony replied

"Yes but Pepper is with them. Do you really think they're going to do something illegal with Pepper around? They respect her too much" was Bruce's reply and he went back to working on whatever it was that would get Vivian back in Fury's good books after he'd let her run amok with a Portal Gun a few weeks earlier.

Finally Tony dropped the issue and things at Stark Tower returned more or less to normal the girls still had their secret Tony suspected some sort of underground Foxy Boxing ring or some sort of illegal MMA fight club where Alice and Natasha would beat the ever loving crap out of guys and have Pepper and Vivian place huge bets on them.

His curiosity was finally quenched when one evening in particular the girls appeared in the halls all dressed like they'd stepped off a TARDIS that had carried them here from 1945,

"What the hell?" Tony questioned when Bruce and Clint appeared dressed in fine suits of the same period,

"Have you seen Steve?" Alice asked Tony, "Oh and Pepper has something for you"

"He's on Wikipedia" since Tony had showed him Wikipedia Steve spent almost every waking moment on the site learning all he could about the time that had passed since he'd been asleep.

Alice walked into the room and Steve didn't turn around used to the sound of her walking in high heels, if she'd had been wearing flats he would have turned around,

"What are you reading up on?" Alice asked

"David Bowie. Agent Barton let me listen to some of his records" Steve said as Alice put her hand on his back and turned him around to face her.

She wore a vintage red dress; her hair was curled and hung loose around her shoulders. Her makeup was plain except for the black liner on her eyelids ending in a flick at the corners and the bright red lipstick she wore.

Steve couldn't help but stare, she looked just like the girls he remembered. He knew she had this dress but she'd never worn it outside his apartment, more specifically his bedroom,

"What do I have lipstick on my teeth?" Alice asked taking out a little compact mirror from a purse on her shoulder,

"No it's just you look – amazing"

"Do you like it then" Alice grinned

"Yeah I do"

"We've been taking dancing classes the girls and I. Bruce and Clint too. No one told Tony because it was supposed to be a surprise. Happy Birthday Cap" she laughed, "Now go change I finally found somewhere we can go dancing"

Steve didn't need to be told twice and he left to change into a suit Alice had left him a few days earlier claiming she'd seen it in a thrift store window and thought it would suit him. When he came back out again he'd even slicked his hair like he used to. Walking up to the girls, Bruce, Clint and Tony Steve thought he'd stepped back in time, "It only gets better" Alice said pinning a medal on Steve's breast pocket as Steve offered her his arm and the six of them headed out into the New York night

Alice had found a club in Tribeca that played nothing but music from the Forties and everyone who wanted to be admitted had to dress appropriately. Stepping inside the club really was like stepping back in time Steve thought. He recognised the music, the dancing, the outfits and he really felt at home,

"Well aren't you going to ask a girl to dance" Alice teased

"Of course. Would you like to dance?"

"Love to" Alice and Steve twirled around the floor Steve stepping on her toes a few times but Alice didn't seem to mind and she let herself be lead, all be it badly, around the floor the smile never leaving her face.

When they stopped for a drink Alice noticed an older couple who seemed to be out for the night as well and struck up a conversation with the woman recognising her accent as being from Charlotte,

"I'm from Charlotte too!" Alice said,

"My stars" the woman said clutching her pearls, "How nice to see a young lady like yourself enjoying a dance hall like this. Too many young ladies are dressing in those short skirts and dancing if you can call it that to that rave music"

"Oh no Ma'am I'm a Camellia" she said, "Fourth generation" this was the only time Steve ever heard Alice say she was proud of being a debutante although he knew it was more the older woman's benefit than her own.

The man she was with was staring at the medal Alice had pinned on his chest. It was the medal for bravery he'd won when he rescued all those men from Hydra's base in Italy,

"Excuse me young man" said the older man, "I notice you have a medal for bravery. Were you in the war?"

"Yes sir I was" Steve said without thinking, "That is the war in Iraq" he said realising his mistake

"I saw your medal and knew right away" the older man said, "My name is Sergeant Leo White. I fought a war myself" said Leo

"Really?" Steve said

"The hundred and first. If you don't mind me saying you look very familiar"

"My Grandfather was in the hundred and first" Steve said, "Steve Rodgers"

"Your Grandfather was Captain Rodgers?" Leo said, "He saved my life"

"Yes sir my Mom told me all about my Grandfather"

"If he was still alive I'd shake his hand. He's the reason I met my Piper, she was a field nurse and she was my own Florence Nightingale" Piper blushed and he husband kissed her on the cheek, "If you don't mind son I'd like to shake your hand. It takes a lot of guts to fight for your country" Leo reached out and took Steve's hand in his own shaking it heartily,

"Come on Leo we've bothered these two kids long enough" Piper said taking her husband's hand and leading him back out on the dance floor,

"You know I took a look at your record when Viv hacked Tony" Alice said sipping some punch, "I know what you did"

"Honestly I was going after my friend" Steve said, "James Barnes he was my friend for as long as I remember"

"I know. Peggy recorded everything in her notes" Alice was silent for a moment, "Is it bad if I say I'm the teeniest bit jealous of her? I mean she was this amazing woman who risked life and limb on the battle field"

"You're amazing too" Steve said, "I mean you say it yourself you're a normal, squishy" he poked Alice in the side, "human girl and yet you went up against Apocalypse with nothing more than your .44 and a few flash grenades Vivian had lying around" Alice smiled

"I just needed to hear you say it"

"Peggy can't compare to you" Steve said putting his arm around Alice and kissing the top of her head,

"Good now that that's cleared let's dance" Alice pulled Steve back out onto the dance floor as the band slowed down and the two of them just stood there. Swaying in each other's embrace, Steve would remember this as his best birthday ever.

* * *

**I was originally writing this as just Alice with a secret but this turned out much better than I planned **

**Enjoy and Review**

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	6. Rock and Roll Aint Noise Pollution

After taking Steve to the Forties club she'd found in Tribeca Alice had decided to ease him into the 21st Century with music. So the next place she took him was a Fifties style diner with a dance floor, then she showed him pictures and footage of Woodstock and explained about Hippies. There weren't any real clubs as such that only played sixties music so they sat in the apartment and listened to records while Steve looked at all the things that happened in the sixties.

The seventies were easy, Alice had found a rock club in Brooklyn that played only music from the Seventies so once more she got dressed up and brought Steve,

"It's really loud!" Steve said

"It's great!" Alice laughed downing a couple of shots of tequila, "Here drink this" she handed Steve a shot and he raised it to his lips, "No you have to lick the salt first" Alice put some salt on his hand, "Lick that do the shot then suck the lemon"

Steve followed her instruction and the face he pulled after sucking the lemon made Alice laugh loudly,

"I think I'll stick with water" he said

"Aw you're no fun! I mean you can't get drunk but you won't drink" Alice teased

"So how do you dance in here?" Steve asked

"You have the DJ play something and you jump around and bang into people" Alice said, "Watch" she made a line for the dance floor and Steve watched as she was swallowed up by the crowd. He caught glimpse of her now and again as she pushed her way through the mass of people.

When the song ended Alice appeared back at his side hair slightly out of place but otherwise fine which surprised Steve he had expected blood and bruises, "I guess the seventies aren't your thing" Alice said finishing her eighth shot,

"Not really" Steve said,

"Maybe the 80s will be" Alice said grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the door, the couple left and since Steve's apartment was closer and Alice was tottering slightly on her heels.

Steve opened the door with Alice hanging on his arm slightly humming something which didn't seem to have much of a tune,

"What are you humming?" Steve asked setting her down on the couch and heading to the kitchen to get Alice a bottle of water,

"Sex Pistols – Friggin in the Rigging" Alice said, "The seventies was the birth of punk, Sex Pistols, The Ramones, The Runaways, Patti Smith" Alice said waving her arms wildly, "It was the music I grew up on"

"But you're twenty five" Steve said handing Alice a bottle of water

"Yes and Mamma listened to Patsy Cline and Aretha Franklin. Daddy however listened to Uncle Kenny and Johnny Cash. When I turned fourteen I started listening to rock and roll and then I discovered punk and it was like 'were have you been all my life'"

Alice was clearly tipsy so Steve just nodded along with her while she explained how punk changed her life. Then she set down her bottle of water and threw her arms around Steve kissing him on the mouth.

Steve could taste the alcohol on her lips and tried to push her away, "I haven't had _that_ much to drink" Alice laughed, "I'm fine honestly"

"Why don't I believe you?" Steve said

"Because I could probably give Loki a run for his money with the amount of lies I've told in her life" Alice said, "But trust me. Eight shots isn't going to leave me comatose on the kerb. I make my own moonshine remember?"

Steve had tasted the moonshine Alice had made in the bathtub. Even Tony had said it could have been used to strip paint and Thor didn't last very long when Alice offered him drinks of it.

Alice kissed Steve again and this time he responded pressing his lips to hers softly at first, Alice deepened the kiss flicking her tongue at the corners of Steve's mouth making him part his lips.

Steve moved his hands moved down Alice's sides slowly as if he was afraid she was going to suddenly stop him. His hand rested on her hips and he looked at Alice for confirmation of whether or not to continue,  
"It's fine go ahead" she told him, "You won't hurt me" for all Alice's posturing and bluntly sexual nature the two had only really had sex a few times and once Steve had seen some of the bruises he'd left on Alice's hips by holding her maybe a little too hard he hadn't wanted to hurt her any more than he already had and the two hadn't been intimate in the same way since.

Steve's moved one hand from resting on Alice's hips to undo the button on her shorts and pull down the zip.

Alice was a little shocked but didn't say anything to deter him. He'd probably been working his way up to this for a while.

He pulled her shorts down and again looked at her for confirmation Alice nodded and Steve kissed her while he pulled down her underpants and his hand slipped between her legs.

His fingers carefully stroked her folds and quickly discovered her clit. He used the flat of two fingers to rub circles on the little bundle of nerves making Alice gasp,

"Am I hurting you!" Steve asked quickly pulling his hand away

"No. No I'm ok. Keep going" Steve complied and started his ministrations again. This time he was able to slip one long digit into her core. He twisted his finger in and out and soon added another both sheathed to the second knuckle while his thumb continued to rub her clit,

"Steve" Alice breathed arching her hips so his fingers could hit her sensitive spot.

Steve taking note of this crooked his fingers so they were hitting her sensitive spot making Alice moan. Steve removed his fingers and Alice whined a little at the loss,

"Can I try something else?" he asked carefully

"Whatever you want" Alice said making him smile a little and, without much warning, hoist her legs up over his shoulders as he dove between her thighs with his tongue making her cry out.

Steve swirled his tongue around inside Alice and she threaded her fingers in his hair as she unconsciously pressed her hips closer to his face, "Oh god" she moaned as he used the flat of two fingers to stroke her clit, "Steve!" she moaned loudly as his teeth grazed the little bundle of nerves sending a shiver up her spine.

Alice could feel a familiar heat pool in her stomach and knew she was close to climaxing, "Steve I'm gonna cum" she breathed. Steve either didn't hear her or was ignoring her because he quickly substituted his tongue for his fingers as he sucked on her clit drawing it between his teeth and rolling his tongue over the sensitive ball, "Fuck!" Alice hissed grabbing the couch cushions as Steve's fingers worked in and out of her core. She knew couldn't hold out for much longer. Steve seemed to realise this as well and once more dove between her thighs swirling his tongue around as his fingers worked her clit.

Alice came with a loud cry of 'Steve' her juices running down her legs. Steve lapped them all up and when her legs finally stopped shaking he lay beside her on the couch again and kissed her cheek, "Holy shit. That was …" Alice searched her brain for the right word, "Amazing" she grinned at Steve who breathed a sigh of relief,

"Are you sure?"

"Oh yeah. I'm sure. I only have one question"

"What is it?"

"Where did you learn to do that? You don't strike me as the porno type and you've only been with one girl, me"

"I uh looked it up online. And I wasn't even sure if I was doing it right I mean the stuff I looked at said every girl was different so what worked with one mightn't be the case with another and I was actually a little freaked out about the whole thing. I thought for sure you'd hit me or something -" before Steve could finish his sentence I kissed him,

"You're cute when you ramble" Alice laughed, "Don't worry you did a good job. Now let me take care of you" Alice made Steve lie back on the couch and slowly undid the zip and button on his jeans releasing his straining erection, she didn't wait for confirmation the way Steve had and instead dropped her mouth down onto his head and licked around the tip swirling her tongue around it before engulfing him in her mouth in one go.

Steve swallowed harshly and grabbed couch cushions to anchor himself, Alice took Steve as far into her mouth as she could then started to hum in the back of her throat sending vibrations up the shaft.

Steve thrust his hips towards making Alice gag a little at the action. She slid her mouth back up Steve's dick but kept the head in her mouth and started flicking at it with her tongue. Steve moaned and threw his head back as Alice engulfed him again. She also brought a hand up to stroke the shaft as her head bobbed back and forth.

Using her free hand Alice cupped his balls and dug her nails in lightly. Steve's breath hitched as he looked down at her. His cheeks were red and there was a disbelieving look in his eyes but Alice could see how much he was enjoying himself and that made her smile.

"Ah Alice I'm gonna –" Steve couldn't finish his sentence as she started humming in the back of her throat again sending vibrations all the way up his shaft, "Alice" Steve cried out as he came into her mouth, it wasn't like most guys she'd dated where she'd spit it out as soon as they came – it wasn't bitter or sour. It was oddly sweet so she swallowed Steve's seed and continued to bob her head up and down his length riding out his orgasm,

"And that boyfriend is what we call a bow job"

For a moment Steve couldn't think straight. All he heard was the rushing of blood in his ears and the pounding of his heart. He let himself be lead into his room where Alice made him lie on the bed before straddling him,

"What are you –" Steve didn't get to finish his question as Alice grabbed his now once more erect member and impaled herself on it to the hilt making Steve groan and clutch the sheets at the feeling of being inside Alice, "You're so warm" was all he managed to say as Alice lifted herself and again slammed herself down on Steve's dick.

Steve in an attempt to anchor himself grabbed Alice's hips as she rocked back and forth on top of him throwing her head back when she had angled her hips so Steve's member was hitting her most sensitive spot.

In an attempt to regain some dominance over the situation Steve's body acting completely of its own accord pulled Alice off him and pinned her to the bed below his hands circling her wrists. Steve pressed his lips to the hollow of her throat and his teeth grazed across the patch of skin between her neck and collar bone making her cry out,

"Ah Steve!"

Steve kissed the hollow of her throat again and nipped a little at the skin knowing it would leave a mark she wouldn't be able to hide. He nipped at the skin along her chest leaving little red marks along the way like a treasure trail.

Alice arched her back as Steve thrust into her, her hips still angled so every thrust hit her most sensitive spot,

"Harder" she commanded pressing her hips into his as Steve pulled almost all the way out and slammed back in making Alice cry out loudly, thankfully Steve lived alone and his neighbours were all relatively young so they wouldn't care how loud Alice was being.

Steve continued to thrust in and out of Alice as hard as he could making her moan loudly, "Steve I'm gonna cum" she breathed as Steve's thrusts increased in speed. He held onto her wrists tightly, pressing them down into the pillows as her face contorted and her mouth became a perfect 'o' shape as Steve felt her walls tighten around him, "Steve!" she cried out as she hit her limit and her release washed over her making her entire body convulse and her walls grab onto Steve who wasn't quite finished yet.

Steve continued to thrust in and out of Alice riding out her orgasm and making her cum twice more before he achieved his own release and let go of her wrists before collapsing in the bed next to her, "We really have to do this more often" Alice grinned scooting away from the wet spot to lie closer to Steve who was just coming down of his own high.

Alice put a hand on Steve's chest to calm his breathing and he noticed the bruises that were starting to form on her wrists as well as the finger shaped ones on her hips,

"Did I do that?" he asked

"Mhmm" Alice said contently, "Don't worry about it they'll fade in a few days. Everything will" Steve noticed the little red marks on Alice's neck and chest and a part of him felt proud of those, Steve was about to speak again when he noticed Alice had fallen asleep so he covered them both with a sheet and soon fell asleep himself.

* * *

Later in the week when everyone was drinking at Stark tower and someone, no one quite remembered who, had suggested they platy strip poker. It was when Alice took off her shirt and everyone saw the marks on her chest and the bruises on her hips which were shown off by her low slung shorts that Tony Stark decided to comment,

"Looks like you're no different from the rest of us after all Cap!" he laughed, Bruce and Clint trying to be gentlemen were not looking at Alice's chest and Pepper feeling just a tiny bit jealous of her friend but more outraged at Tony's outburst smacked him on the arm, "What I'm just making an observation"

"Yeah you made the same 'observation' during the week when you noticed the bruises on her wrists and the mark on her neck" Vivian said, "Not much of a scientist are you if you keep noticing the same things"

"I don't really care" Alice said taking a shot of something she called a 'four horsemen' something not even Vivian wanted to try, "Alright I call"

"I'm out" said Pepper

"Me too" said Bruce

"Two pairs" Clint said putting down his cards,

"Straight" Natasha said laying down hers too,

"I'm out" Vivian said truth be told she'd been seeing doubles since Alice opened her bottle of homemade moonshine,

"Yeah I got nothing" Steve said folding his cards,

"Well Tony?" Alice said smirking at him,

"Straight flush" Tony said throwing his cards down,

"Royal flush" Alice said revealing her own cards, "Pants off one and all!" she cheered

Later in the evening when everyone had given up on poker and most were passed out in one place or another around the tower. At one point Vivian and Tony had come up with the idea that they could make a working TARDIS and Bruce had left to make sure they didn't kill themselves.

Natasha and Clint had simply disappeared and Pepper who couldn't really hold her liquor had passed out on the couch leaving Alice and Steve alone. Alice decided that her bruises should last for longer and so dragged Steve off to find a room.

* * *

**Realised I hadn't written Alice/Steve smut so I knocked this one out**

**Enjoy and Review **

**8D**


	7. 80s night

In keeping with Alice's 'Let's bring Steve up to the 21st century by music' drive Tony Stark had planned and 80s night.

For the girls this meant shopping and days of preparation. On occasion Tony would try and enter whichever room the girls happened to be using for their preparation but he would be unceremoniously tossed out, usually literally, and almost always by Alice. Once he tried to get Vivian to go in and see what they were doing since the two had bonded over drinking games and getting Steve so drunk he knocked Tony out when they tried to re-enact his stage days,

"I don't know nor do I _want_ to know what they're doing in there" Vivian said when Tony asked her, "It's like you say I'm not exactly a 'real girl' ah fuck where did she come from!" Vivian cursed at her video game where a pale zombie with long lank black hair suddenly appeared on the screen,

"You know that zombie kind of looks like Alice" Tony said sitting down on the couch next to Vivian and picking up the box for the video game, "Left4Dead"

"Yeah, ah shit I'm dead!" she cursed, "It has multiplayer if you want to help"

"Sure" Tony picked up a spare console and started playing

The evening of the party none of the girls were anywhere to be found, according to Vivian they'd commandeered her apartment to get ready,

"I got a mouthful of hairspray at one point and decided to leave" she explained sitting on Tony's couch once more playing her video game, "Ok now let's hope no NPCs fuck this up"

"Why would they fuck it up" Tony asked, he'd gotten rather into the game and had been playing the solo campaign for a while whenever there wasn't anyone around,

"Well the idea is to walk through this sugar mill without attracting any witches, who are everywhere because witches love sugar. If you so much as breathe too loudly they'll come out of nowhere and kill everyone"

Tony understood the situation very well. It was something he and Vivian had found they had in common, a love of video games.

Bruce and Steve were content to let the duo play their game and were talking about sports; Bruce was bringing Steve up to date on baseball when the girls entered the room

Pepper was wearing a white corset top with a white net skirt and a belt reading 'boy toy', white fishnets and white heels. Alice wore a black version of the same outfit both wore matching blonde curly wigs and white lace fingerless gloves

"You guys really went all out" Bruce laughed

"Of course. I never do anything by halves" Alice said walking over to Vivian, "Unlike some"

"Hey I made an effort" Vivian said gesturing to her 'Frankie Says Relax' shirt,

"Well you _did _but the t-shirt yourself so I guess I can't fault you there" Alice agreed then she got a look at Steve.

Tony had taken it upon himself to dress Steve for the evening. He had bought him a plain black t-shirt that was deliberately a size too small and a pair of form fitting black jeans. Vivian had sat with a tub of hair wax and perfectly, or as perfectly as she could, coiffed Steve's hair so he looked like Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing.

Both Tony and Vivian had made a bet to see how long it would take Alice to 'jump Cap' when she saw him. Tony not knowing Alice as well as Vivian said poor Steve didn't stand a snowball's chance in hell. Vivian knew better she knew Alice would wait everyone out then head back to Steve's and 'jump' him then.

Of course she didn't tell Tony that and the pair had agreed on a time frame. Tony said five minutes and Vivian said the entire party they agreed on a fee of a hundred dollars to be paid in full the following day.

Now it was just a matter of waiting for something to happen. What did happen however no one expected. Alice laughed,

"Oh honey who dressed you up like that?" she said running her fingers through his hair to fix the mess Vivian had made, "And that t-shirt is too small for you"

"Tony bought it for me"

"Well that makes sense. I doubt you have any knowledge about sizes" I said to Tony, "I mean Pepper buys all your clothes for you"

Tony flinched. He'd forgotten that Pepper and Alice told each other everything,

"Yeah my mistake. Sorry Cap" Tony said while Vivian snickered beside him,

"Ok so now that you've done your fashion parade can I go back to my game?" Vivian said

"No you cannot. It's 80s night there is no Xbox" Alice said crossing the room to Tony's large home entertainment system and setting the radio to an 80s station turning the radio up Blondie poured out of the many speakers Tony had set up in the room.

80s night was officially a go.

At six am the next morning everyone but Bruce was passed out somewhere after Alice had opened up two bottles of her homemade moonshine and Pepper and Alice tried to explain 'Dirty Dancing' to Steve by showing him exactly what they meant. Bruce had to separate them before Tony started taking pictures. JARVIS however had to commended when he told Bruce that he'd delete all the surveillance footage from the evening so no one would have blackmail material.

And so Steve was introduced to the 80s. Next decade on Alice's list the 90s and Bruce wondered if even he could get out of _that_ particular party.

**The endings a little shit but I started this and then had no idea where I was going with it**

**I'm posting it anyway because I spent time writing it **

**Review?**


	8. Bonding

New York City was currently going through a heat wave. At first Bruce, Tony and Vivian all desperately tried to find a way to explain the heat wave as something extra terrestrial but to no avail.

With the heat brought Pepper's insisting the Avengers all spend more time outside. At the mention of forced bonding both Natasha and Clint mysteriously disappeared and Vivian tried her best to hide in the vents of Stark tower only to have Tony drag her out by her feet,

"If I have to do this bonding crap then so do you" of course what Tony didn't know was that Pepper happened to be standing behind him at that particular moment,

"You think its crap?" She asked him her eyes prickling with tears,

"What? No! I - I - I - uh ..." Tony realised he couldn't talk his way out of this situation so he resigned himself to playing Lazer Tag which Alice and Vivian turned out to be surprisingly good at.

Something else Tony didn't realise was that Alice had been giving Pepper acting lessons and the final test was to see if she could cry on cue.

They had split into two teams. Boys versus Girls and after explaining to Steve how the game worked they were off.

The girls ended up winning because neither Steve nor Bruce had the heart to shoot at Pepper when she would appear in front of them, shriek and fumble with her gun. A ploy they later found out devised so that Vivian could hoist herself up into the rafters and pick whoever it was off,

"That was fun!" Pepper said once the six of them left the Lazer Tag place, "What should we do next?"

"I'm thinking Ice Cream" said Alice tying her hair up,

"I second that motion!" Vivian said rushing off and almost getting hit by a car, only Bruce caught her in time,

"I think we should take the ice cream back with us" he said holding Vivian around the waist so she couldn't do herself or anyone else any sort of lasting damage.

So the six of them bought ice cream and they split when they headed back to the tower. Alice and Pepper headed to the roof. Vivian, Bruce and Tony headed to the lab where Vivian was working on making another Portal gun with the samples of the Tesseract she'd 'liberated' from SHIELD while they were making repairs after being attacked by Red Hulk.

Steve headed to the gym figuring whatever Alice and Pepper was doing wasn't for him and he didn't want to get in the way of whatever was going on in Tony's lab.

An hour later Steve wandered up to the roof to see what was going on, he found Alice and Pepper lying on towels both wearing string bikinis, Steve looked away quickly not wanting to be caught staring, not that he _was_ staring mind,

_"Ladies it has been an hour since you last put on sunscreen"_ the electronic voice of JARVIS came from a speaker somewhere,

"Pepper would you do my back? Oh hi Steve" Alice said sitting up and letting her top fall down exposing her chest; "You wouldn't rub some sunscreen on my back would you? I don't want to burn"

"Um your top" Steve said trying not to look over at Alice

"What about it" Alice said not seeing the problem,

"It's down"

"I know" she laughed, "I don't want lines. But if it embarrasses you that much" Alice tied her top up loosely around her neck, "Now would you please put some of this on my back?" she asked handing Steve the bottle of sunscreen,

"Sure. Miss Potts should I get Tony up to help you?" Pepper smiled, she'd known Steve a little over a year now and no matter how much she insisted he call her Pepper he still called her 'Miss Potts'

"No it's ok Steve"

"I'll help you out in a sec" Alice said to Pepper,

"No I think I'm gonna go inside. I don't take the sun well" she laughed, "But by all means stay" Pepper said to Alice who was about to get up and go with her,

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah I'll be fine. Besides I do sort of have a company to run" Pepper said slipping on her shoes and heading back into the tower,

"That girl works herself too hard. But then she's been running the company since Howard died" Alice said undoing the straps of her top again and lying down on her towel, "You knew him didn't you?"

"Yeah he designed my shield" Steve said sitting down on the towel Pepper had vacated, "He was the one who found the tesseract in the ocean when he was looking for me"

"Seventy years on ice. And not a mark on you" Alice laughed, "I hold an ice cube for too long and my fingers go all red"

"Yeah well my cells keep regenerating and healing it creates a kind of protective barrier" Steve said, "I don't really understand it all"

"Hm" Alice said from behind her sunglasses,

"Are you sleeping?" Steve asked, "You shouldn't fall asleep in the sun it's dangerous"

"JARVIS has been keeping me awake" Alice said, "But trust me I know the dangers of falling asleep in the sun. When I was twenty one I was living in Texas and I fell asleep in the sun while I was skinny dipping with some guy and I got burnt in places I never want to be burnt again. Kind of like having sex on the beach, never again"

"What's wrong with sex on the beach?" Steve asked

"You get sand in places there should be no sand" Alice explained, "You can do it in the water but not on the sand" Alice sat up at this point,

"You know Tony has a beach house up in the Hamptons. I have an idea" Alice tied her top up tightly around her neck and making sure everything was in its proper place she and Steve went back into the tower and found the lab,

"Oh you're inside again" Vivian said, she seemed to be wearing an oversized hoodie and not much else, "Shorts" Vivian said lifting the hoodie up a little at the bottom to reveal a pair of cut off denim shorts, clearly homemade,

"Yeah Pepper had to get back to work. Poor thing's exhausted" Alice said claiming a chair, "All she does is work and when she's not working she's babysitting" Alice said with a pointed look at Tony,

"Hey she's better at running Stark Industries than I ever was" Tony said, "She's amazing"

"No doubt but she's been burning the candle at both ends for a while now. I worry about her. This kind of stress leads to all sorts of things"

"She just needs some rest" Bruce said knowing full well where Alice was going, "I'm sure she's got a break planned"

Tony shifted uncomfortably, he knew Pepper had been working hard recently trying to push the clean energy he had been so tirelessly working on,

"You know I have a beach house in the Hamptons. It was my Mom's idea, she wanted somewhere we could all go and my Dad wouldn't think about work" Tony said,

"You should take her there" Alice said like she hadn't been planning that the entire time,

"She'd never go. She'd feel bad about leaving her duties as CEO behind. And she wouldn't go without you lot"

"So we all go" Bruce said, "A long weekend and then Pepper will be alright again. I mean it _is_ the Fourth of July this weekend"

"Oh and it's Alice's birthday!" Vivian said brightly knowing Alice had hoped people had forgotten when her birthday was

"Yeah that'll work" Tony said, "Alright looks like we're beach bound"

"I should pack" Alice said

"I'm going with you" Vivian said quickly putting her new and improved portal gun away, "Last time you packed for me –" a chill ran down Vivian's spine and Alice laughed

"Oh yes! I remember that now! The thong bikini" Steve and Bruce pretended not to have heard Alice but Tony burst into peals of laughter,

"You? In a thong?"

"Yeah, yeah laugh it up" Vivian grumbled leaving the lab.

Vivian and Alice returned to their apartment and packed quickly. Or at least Vivian did, Alice took a little longer and seemed to be bringing everything but the kitchen sink with her,

"What the hell did you put in that bag?" Vivian said, "Was this a 'what if there's no chairs or floors or food or drinks or if you get lonely' situation?"

"No it wasn't. All I have are bathing suits, some dresses, some shoes, my make-up and hair things and day to day clothes"

"And yet your bag is twice the size of mine" Vivian said looking at the huge duffel bag that was clearly bursting at the seams, "Come on then we might as well get this trip over with"

Vivian and Alice returned to Stark Tower where they met the others and were driven in the comfort of Tony's personal Limo to his house in the Hamptons.

"WHAT!" Vivian exclaimed when they reached their destination, "IS THIS NARNIA!"

"Yeah my Mom loved how big and airy it was" Tony said, "When she died and my Dad and I came out here, before he hit the bottle, it seemed even bigger"

The six of them entered the house and were all given directions to the 'wing' they would be staying in,

"I'm about to say something I swore I'd never say, oh em gee again oh em gee it's lame but nothing else really nails it! This is the house that oh em gee was made for" Vivian ran off excitedly to see what the rest of the house was like with Bruce following also a little amused at the sheer expanse of the building.

Alice and Steve headed off to their own 'wing' and settled in, the closets were huge so there was more than enough room for all of Alice's things which she still maintained wasn't even that much.

Friday night it was decided would be for resting and roasting marshmallows on the stretch of beach that connected to the house. Later in the evening when Vivian, Bruce, Pepper and Steve had retired it was only Alice and Steve left awake sitting huddled together looking at the stars when Alice stood up and took her t-shirt and shorts off,

"What are you doing?" Steve said running after her as she headed for the water and picking up her discarded clothes,

"It's tradition" Alice said unclipping her bra and letting it drop to the ground before stepping out of her underwear leaving her completely exposed on the edge of the water, "I've been doing it since I was ten. Every year at midnight on my birthday I go swimming, it turned into skinny dipping when I was fourteen and the night I lost my virginity" Alice stepped into the water and in a splash disappeared under the black surface.

When she didn't come up after a minute Steve feared the worst and quickly ran into the water with his clothes still on,

"ALICE!" he yelled searching the black depths for her, he almost had a heart attack when something grabbed his leg and dragged him under the surface but his fear was calmed when Alice pressed her lips to his.

They surfaced after a few seconds neither of them being able to breathe underwater, Alice was laughing her black hair pushed back from her face and falling down her back,

"That was hilarious! You should have seen your face!"

"I thought you'd drowned" Steve said

"That was the idea. You'd have never gotten in otherwise" Alice said swimming up to Steve and peeling off his t-shirt, "You know you can drown if you go swimming with your clothes on?" she said, "They weigh you down and you drown. It's horrible" Alice unbuttoned Steve's shorts and let them drift towards the beach before pulling down his boxer shorts and grasping his member in her hand,

"Alice what are you –ah– doing" Steve said trying to ignore the throbbing in his member as Alice stroked it slowly,

"I told you earlier didn't I? Sex in the sea is ok" Alice said taking one of Steve's hands and guiding it under the water to her folds, "Come on it's my birthday" she whispered in Steve's ear nipping at his earlobe.

Steve was many things, Super Solider, Hero, Friend, Kid from Brooklyn but he was also a man and he did have certain desires and the way Alice was teasing herself with his fingers and the motion of her pumping his straining member was all too much for the simple Forties boy to handle so he decided to just go with whatever Alice was suggesting because at that moment in time it felt really good.

The next morning when Alice and Steve came downstairs for breakfast Pepper had hung a huge sign in the kitchen that read 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALICE'

"You remembered my birthday?" she asked

"Well of course I did! I've been planning this for weeks!" Pepper said embracing Alice, "I've been trying to come up with a way to get you out here for your birthday and finally when you said I didn't look well I knew it was the perfect opportunity"

"And you even bought me presents!" Alice said happily as Pepper handed her a large soft package,

"Open mine first!" she said excitedly.

Alice tore open the wrapper to reveal a gold coloured sleeveless dress that came to her mid thigh when she held it against her body, "It's Chanel" Pepper said,

"And it's vintage! Pepper where did you get this?" Alice asked

"It's a secret"

"Here open this one before you completely girl out" Vivian said handing Alice a large box that when she opened it contained one AK-47 assault rifle,

"OH MY GOD!" Alice screamed and almost knocked Vivian off her feet when she hugged her,

"There's more than just the gun!" Vivian laughed, Alice looked back inside the box and saw a pair of blue Irregular Choice shoes she'd had her eye on for weeks,

"Thank you so much!" Alice said hugging Vivian again, "My very own Kalashnikov" Alice said with the air of a child who'd just gotten a doll they'd wanted for years,

Tony's present was an assortment of Rock CDs from David Bowie's 'Life on Mars' to AC/DCs 'Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap' with a note saying 'Some musical education'

Bruce had bought Alice a first edition of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland that he wouldn't say where he'd found but Alice knew he must have paid a small fortune for.

Finally Steve gave Alice a little blue box and again Alice almost knocked someone off their feet, when Alice opened the box it contained a little silver chain with 'believe' written in silver,

"I remembered how much you liked Peter Pan"

"I love it!" Alice said moving her hair to the side so Steve could put the necklace on, "I love all of it!"

After Alice had opened all her presents Pepper announced they were all going out for breakfast. They headed down into the town where Pepper had arranged a huge birthday breakfast for Alice and everyone in one of the restaurants that served mainly southern food.

Pepper spent the entire day making Alice feel special something that she'd never really felt on her birthday before. Her birthday's at home in Charlotte were always a sombre affair with her Mother inviting all the other little girls who were Camellia's and having a boring party mostly full of grown-ups. And as she got older she usually celebrated by getting blind drunk and letting some farm boy grope her in the flat bed of his pick up.

It was her best birthday ever and she would never forget it for as long as she lived

* * *

**I want to say thank you so much to everyone who's been reading and reviewing this series of titbits **

**If you want to read the whole story search "Call of the apocalypse" or go to fanfiction(dot)net(slash)~pairofbritches **

**Thanks again**


	9. Of Jazz, Pastries and Coffee

In an attempt to keep Vivian in Nick Fury's good books Bruce had more or less resolved to keep Vivian away from SHIELDs base while they did their repairs and upgrades so they spent most of their time in Tony Stark's R&D labs where Vivian sat on the floor and tried to make machines from video games,

"You hardly leave the labs" Bruce said to her, "Only to eat and when Alice comes in threatening to drag you out by the hair"

"I don't play well with others. I like sitting here and making things that go boom" was Vivian's reply,

"Don't you like to do anything else?" Bruce asked, Vivian thought for a moment,

"I like eating pastries, drinking coffee and listening to jazz music. But I can do all that here" she said gesturing around her to her iPod, box of pastries Alice had brought her along with a Starbucks coffee,

"Come on I'm taking you out" Bruce said holding his hand out to help Vivian off the floor,

"But I'm almost done here" Vivian whined, scattered about her where parts of an old camera and some parts Bruce didn't recognise nor did he want to know what they were or _how _Vivian got her hands on whatever it was,

"What are you doing with the camera?" Bruce asked and as soon as Vivian's face split into the maniacal grin he recognised from her work on Alice's armour piercing bullets he regretting asking,

"It's going to catch ghosts!" Vivian said, "Since Alice is convinced our apartment is haunted"

"Why don't you just put it back together and you can make it catch ghosts later?" Bruce said

"But –" Vivian tried to protest but Bruce took the camera from her and set it on a work bench, "Alright" Vivian picked up the pieces surrounding her and set them all down on the bench in a way she'd remember what each part was for.

The pair walked out of Stark Tower and into the blinding sunlight of August, Vivian had to raise her hand to shield her eyes, "Agh how long has that been there?" she questioned

"How long has what been there?" Bruce asked waiting for Vivian's eyes to adjust to the sun,

"The sun" Vivian said blinking a few times making Bruce laugh,

"About six billion years" he answered her

"I don't like it. Make it stop!" she whined,

"If I could I would" Bruce laughed as the younger girl took his hand in hers,

"You're tall you can shield me from it" she said as her explanation, Bruce could see her cheeks were a little red but chose not to say anything about it,

"So do you know anywhere in the city you can drink coffee, eat pastries and listen to Jazz?" Bruce asked

"Yeah I know one place" Vivian took Bruce to the small cafe she'd found back in November when Alice had gone to get her dancing girl outfit and left her alone with Loki, Vivian shook her head to clear her head from the memories that floated to the surface.

When she and Bruce arrived at the cafe it was blissfully empty, Bruce pushed open the door and let Vivian walk in before him. As soon as the pair entered the cafe the rich aroma of coffee and baked goods washed over them,

"What do you want?" Bruce asked Vivian, who was clearly doing her best not to drool over the various pastries,

"I like the look of that éclair" she said pointing at a rather large éclair at the front of the display case, "As Alice would say I'd do bad things to that éclair"

"Two of the éclair's and two large black coffees" Bruce said handing over some cash to the girl behind the counter before Vivian could protest. They waited for a moment and the girl handed them their pastries and coffee and Vivian claimed a seat by the window,

"I like watching people go past" she said, "A city with thousands of people in it and most of them barely look at each other as they pass. It's kind of interesting" Bruce nodded as Vivian raised her cup to her lips and blew on the hot liquid like a child would.

* * *

The two of them remained in the cafe all afternoon Vivian ate and drank lots of coffee and talked to Bruce about growing up in England, she didn't hold anything back nor did she hide or cover up anything she was open and honest for only the second time in her life and despite what she had always maintained about telling people her secrets, Alice wasn't really 'people', she felt better for telling Bruce.

He listened and didn't judge, he asked after her Father and laughed when she told him about his frantic phone call when he heard about things blowing up in the city,

"I didn't have the heart to tell him it was me blowing things up" she said with a smile

"Sounds like he really cares about you" Bruce said,

"Yeah he does"

Later in the evening when they had to leave the cafe because it was closing Vivian took Bruce's hand again and walked close to him until they got back to Stark Tower, "I had a really nice time" she said tucking a piece of hair behind her ear,

"You see what happens when you leave the lab for an hour" Bruce laughed making Vivian go red with embarrassment, sometimes she was a little _too_ devoted to her work. Bruce leant down and placed a chaste kiss on Vivian's lips making her squawk like a bird at being caught unawares.

When she regained her composure she stood on her tiptoes and returned the action making Alice 'whoop' from her vantage point on top of the tower, she'd managed to threaten or seduce someone out of a pair of high powered binoculars and was waving at the pair,

"HI VIVIAN!"

"YOU BITCH WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP THERE?" Vivian yelled

"WATCHING THE SHOW"

"You know normal people don't shout at each other from the street" Bruce laughed,

"We're not exactly normal" Vivian said raising her middle finger at Alice,

"THAT'S NOT VERY LADY LIKE!" Alice yelled down

"WAIT TILL I GET UP THERE! I'll SHOW YOU LADY LIKE!" Vivian said running into the tower presumably to hit Alice.

Bruce followed shaking his head and laughing at the pair

* * *

**Written for the lovely Hana **

**All of the Viv/Bruce ones are actually **

**Reviews?**


	10. Of Motor Oil and Shirts

With the money she'd won from Alice after going a whole day in a dress and not swearing, fighting, blowing anything up or crawling around in the vents on Stark Tower Vivian was trying to fix the damage that had been done to her bike when she fought Apocalypse in Liberty Park for the first time.

She'd moved her bike to the garage under Stark Tower because Tony had better toys and Vivian could easily make upgrades to her bike,

"Hey dummy will you hand me that can of oil?" Vivian asked one of Stark's little machines, the robotic arm complied and handed Vivian the can of motor oil which, as soon as she got it, spilled on her jeans as the can was slippery with spilt oil and it just slipped right out of Vivian's hands, "Shit" she cursed quickly removing her t-shirt and looking for some white spirit to clean the stain on her t-shirt but this just didn't seem to be Vivian's day because the car she was leaning on to clean the oil out of her t-shirt had a really sensitive alarm and as soon as Vivian brushed the paint the alarm blared startling Vivian causing her to drop the bottle of white spirit and it splashed all around her jeans and trainers, "Son of a bitch!" Vivian said removing her jeans, white spirit was one of those things you really didn't want on your skin,

"Vivian?" Bruce's voice made Vivian jump, "What's going on?" Vivian turned around and flushed red, yes she and Bruce had been ... together before but that was in the dark where he, she hoped, couldn't really see everything. This was different, the garage was brightly lit and there was no one else there to attract his attention,

Now Vivian wasn't insecure about her body. She had the body she had and that was fine, yes she would have maybe liked to look a little more like Alice but short of surgery that wasn't happening

"I spilt motor oil on my top and then when I tried to clean it out I spilt white spirit on my jeans and trainers"

"Why don't you come back inside and I'll see if I have anything that will fit you while we try to get the stains out" Bruce said smiling and holding his hand out for Vivian who took it gratefully. Bruce gave Vivian his jacket which swamped her small frame but saved her walking through the tower in just her mismatched underwear,

"Do I want to know what's going on here?" the voice of Tony Stark asked as Bruce led Vivian to his room

"She spilled motor oil on her clothes" Bruce said simply his hand still on the small of Vivian's back

"Uh huh just so you know this place isn't soundproofed" Tony said with a pointed look at Vivian as if she was the instigator of all things ... intimate

"All of my hate Stark" Vivian scowled, "can I have some clothes now I'm kinda cold" Vivian said to Bruce

"Yeah I'd dress her no one needs to see that pale ass any longer" Tony joked

"I'm going to go tell Pepper you're picking on me again, she usually sorts you out" Vivian said narrowing her eyes at Tony

"Running to mommy when something goes wrong huh?" Tony said

"My mother's dead" Vivian said seriously, there was a moment before she spoke again, "all I have in my head now is Kadaj screaming MOTHER" she said with a serious face

"I felt bad for you for a moment then you said that" Tony said shaking his head at the small Brit

"Anyway clothes now" Vivian said shivering

"Come on" Bruce led Vivian back to his room and gave her one of his shirts, "this is all I have that'll fit you"

"That's fine" Vivian said happily playing with the long sleeves on the shirt that fell over her hands, the rest of the shirt swamped her and fell just past her hips "naked be gone" she laughed

"You should ring Alice, get her to bring you some clothes" Bruce said laughing at Vivian playing with his shirt,

"That would be a good idea" Vivian said, "Can I use your phone? I don't know where I legt mine"

"Of course" Bruce handed Vivian his phone and after looking at the numbers and realising she didn't know Alice's number, it was programmed in her own phone as a speed dial number, "Is something wrong?" Bruce asked

"I don't know Alice's number" Vivian said, "It's been programmed as a speed dial number on my own phone but I don't actually know the number"

"Maybe Tony has it" Bruce said, "I'll be back" he left the room and returned five minutes later to see Vivian sitting Indian style on the bed reading a book she'd found on his nightstand, "Tony already called her she's on her way"

"That's either him making up for that Mummy joke or he's told her I'm naked and she's coming over to see if he's lying"

"He told her you were naked" Bruce said,

"I knew it" Vivian said going back to the book she'd found, Bruce lay down next to her and watched as she scanned the page, "Ugh I can't see without my glasses" she said squeezing her eyes shut,

"Here" Bruce took the book from her and put on his own glasses and started to read aloud from the book, "It was a pleasure to burn. It was a special pleasure to see things eaten, to see things blackened and _changed_"

* * *

Alice arrived an hour later with jeans and new shoes for Vivian,

"You know I didn't believe Tony but what do you know, you _are_ walking around in your underpants" she laughed

"I was fixing the bike and there was oil" she explained "now jeans please, I swear there is no heating in the place and my legs are freezing" Vivian said pulling on her jeans,

"I didn't bring you a t-shirt since Tony said the Doc leant you a shirt" Alice said

"It's fine" Bruce said,

"Well I have a nail appointment I'll see you later" Alice said as she left the room,

"I suppose I'd better get back to my bike" Vivian said, "But I don't want to spill oil on your shirt"

"Then maybe you should just let Tony look at it for you? He was an engineer before Iron Man"

"Yeah he can make up for that Mummy joke" Vivian left Bruce's room and found Tony trying to teach Steve about Pop Culture, "Will you have a look at my bike? I don't want to get oil on Bruce's shirt"

"Sure" Tony said before going back to trying to teach Steve about Gay Rights,

"I didn't think you cared about gay rights" Vivian said to Steve, "I mean like you don't care about people being gay. I mean –"

"I know what you mean" Steve said, "I really don't but Stark thinks I need to know"

"No what you need to know is that the original Star Wars trilogy is superior to the prequels in every way and that it is only logical to love Mr Spock. Well I'm off, live long and prosper Stark"

Stark made a symbol with his hands Steve didn't understand. His first two fingers were together as were the last two and the space in between made a 'v' shape.

Vivian went back to Bruce's room and hopped up on the bed again and lay down on Bruce's chest as he read more of the book to her.

Alice returned in a few hours to take Vivian home but before they left Vivian turned to Bruce,

"Can I keep the shirt? It smells like you" Vivian realised what she said and covered her face with her hands, "And that just sounds really stalkery"

"No it's fine you can keep it" Bruce said placing a small kiss on the top of Vivian's head,

"Aw you two are too cute" Alice laughed

"And you're too nosy" Vivian said prodding her friend in the side with the small tazer she'd taken off Stark, "Come on lets go home I'm hungry"

Bruce laughed as Vivian shocked Alice again and the southern girl started swearing at her and batting away her hands. Once they were out of sight Bruce marked the page in the book where they'd left off so if Vivian wanted to read some more they could. After which he went to supervise Tony because God only knew what he'd try and do to Vivian's bike if no one supervised him

* * *

**This whole thing was actually inspired by two seconds of movie footage someone made into a gif on Tumblr**

**That bit of the movie where Bruce meets Natasha and it inspired this**

**Enjoy**

**Reviews are nice**


	11. First Christmas

Thor loved Midgard.

He loved the food, the people, the experiences he had but most of all he loved the traditions. When he had first been introduced to the Fourth of July his excitement at the fireworks that could be seen from Tony's beach house in the Hamptons was almost akin to a child seeing them for the first time.

Halloween was another favourite. He could wear his full armour even his helmet and go out in the street and people wouldn't find him strange instead they would complement him on his outfit and even give him candy and offer to buy him drinks in a bar when he went out with the group, he also thought it was hilarious the way Alice got attention from the costume she'd bought that resembled Steve's uniform.

Thanksgiving confused him, he didn't see why the massacre of America's native people by settlers should be celebrated but when Alice sat him down and talked to him about how Thanksgiving was really about giving thanks for your friends, your family, your good health he understood better. And although he didn't understand the Midgardian sport of 'football' he still sat on the couch with Tony and Bruce and Steve and even Alice and would cheer for whichever team they were cheering for. Of course this caused confusion and even a few fights when Alice and Tony would cheer for one team and Bruce and Steve would cheer for another.

Alice and Tony favourite the 'Cowboys' of Dallas whereas Steve and Bruce favoured the 'Patriots' of Rhode Island, another Thanksgiving tradition was to play the sport of football before sitting down to the feast. After Alice explained the rules to him and to Vivian they formed two teams of three and Thor had a most enjoyable time

But the tradition he loved most of all was that of Christmas.

They did not have Christmas on Asgard and once again after having the premise explained to him by Alice Thor resolved to celebrate with his friends,

"Tell me again the concept of Christmas" Thor asked, Alice had taken him shopping with her saying she was buying presents for everyone and needed someone to help her carry boxes. Thor was more than glad to accompany her, Alice was slighter than Asgardian and even some Midgardian women and although she could 'hold her own' Steve did not like her going out alone and since he could not accompany her he had asked Thor to,

"Basically on earth we're mostly Christian when it comes to religion. And Christmas is the birth of Jesus who's like the messiah, the son of God. The Holy Spirit whispered in his mothers ear and she became pregnant even though she was a virgin. That year there was a census which is a form that goes around once every few years and you put down who you are who lives in your household do they work and what religion you are and it all goes into a big computer and it then calculates how many men, women and children there are in an area and how many are working and how many aren't and what religion people are it's all very complicated but it's sort of mandatory. So in the year that Jesus was born there was a census and Joseph who was betrothed to Mary who was like fourteen by the way while Joseph was in his forties and had already kids from a previous marriage travelled to Bethlehem where Joseph was born so he could register for the census. So the story goes they tried three inns but there was no room for them anywhere since a lot of people had come for the census but the last inn had a stable out the back and the manager said they could stay in it. And so the baby Jesus was born in a stable and they wrapped him in swaddling cloth and placed him in a manger.

Then the angles in heaven contacted some shepherd's in a field nearby and told them the son of god had been born and they should all go and see him and so they did. Later three Wise Man or Magi from the East saw a brightly shining star and they were also contacted by an Angel who told them they should go to see the new King. On the way they stopped at the house of a King called Harrod as they thought that was where the baby would be but he didn't know of this new King and saw him as a threat but he lied to the Magi and said he too would like to see the babe and told them to return to him when they were headed back to their own land so he too could pay his respects to the King.

The Magi agreed and they spent that night in King Harrod's home but where visited again by an Angel and told that Harrod wanted to harm the baby and they should take a different route home. So when the Magi reached the stable where they found the baby they presented him with gifts of Gold, Frankincense and Mir and that is why we give presents" Alice said piling box upon box into Thor's arms, "Ok I think that's everyone. I have to get you something but I can't do that with you here so I'll get Steve to come with me later. We just need to drop these off at the apartment and then you can go back to Stark Tower and tell Tony all you've learned about Christmas" Alice said

So Thor dropped all the boxes at Alice's apartment and left her to wrap them all before she put them under the large tree Pepper had gotten from a lot that was selling real ones, it was a new experience for Thor to decorate a tree.

Steve had some old ornaments from his Christmases with his family when he was young and Pepper had recovered some old ones of Tony's Mothers and so with much enthusiasm Thor helped Pepper to decorate the Christmas tree and even Loki who was reluctant to get involved in any sort of tradition lent a hand. The cold weather seemed to bring out the side of him Thor knew best, the gentle, caring brother he had grown up with.

* * *

On Christmas Eve Thor could hardly sleep he was so excited. He wanted to open his presents there and then but Pepper told him no and in the tone she said it Thor chose to wait, impatiently, for morning so he could open all his presents.

Tony had introduced Thor to another Christmas tradition called eggnog and kept offering him glasses of the strange drink. After his fifth glass Thor passed out on the sofa in the lounge,

"What did you do?" Pepper asked Tony

"Not me" Tony said jerking his thumb at Alice

"I spiked his drink with codeine" she said, "He wasn't going to sleep otherwise"

Vivian liked this idea and vowed the next time Thor called her ferret she would spike whatever he was drinking with codeine. Eventually everyone got tired and headed either home or to bed.

The next day when everyone had finally arrived at Stark Tower Thor was allowed to open his presents first. From Pepper a traditional 'ugly' Christmas jumper, it was red and had the image of a strange creature called a Reindeer on the front and scratched at the skin on his arms but he wore it with pride none the less.

From Alice a set of brass knuckles,

"They're super fun" she said when he questioned her buying them, "You slip them on like this" Alice put the knuckles over her own, "And you make a fist then hit something" to prove her point Alice hit Steve lightly on the arm, "Of course if you hit whatever it is properly you'll do a lot more damage"

From Vivian a book about the animals of Midgard,

"I've bookmarked some pages so you can stop calling me ferret" she said

From Tony a 'dummies guide' to using a computer something Steve told him was very useful. From Steve a book on Midgard slang and the promise to study it together every Thursday, finally from Bruce a book of Midgardian fairy tales which he would enjoy reading at a later date.

As it turned out Pepper had bought everyone an 'ugly sweater' and they all wore them with pride as it was Christmas tradition, Alice even managed to blackmail Loki into wearing one. As the group tallied up their presents and played with new toys a flash of lightening caught the eye of the group and the building shook.

The two Asgardians knew this was a sign of an inter dimensional crossing but with the Bifrost gone who could it be.

So the group ran to the roof only to see a tall woman with long brown hair and dark brown eyes standing on the roof her arms out to steady herself as she walked, Loki rushed forward and caught the woman as she took a step forward and almost fell, she was clearly not used to travelling this way,

"Careful" Loki said, "You'll fall"

"And I'm sure you wouldn't laugh at me" the woman replied

"Give me a little credit Vi" Loki said helping the woman down to the group, she was as tall as Alice and they seemed to share the same physicality,

"Viola?" Thor said astonished at their visitor,

"You know this chick?" Tony asked

"I am Viola of Asgard" the woman said, "Daughter of Shylock the Merchant and wife of Loki"

"WIFE?" no one could quite believe it, Loki who had come to terrorise earth with Apocalypse and asked Vivian for her _services_ resulting in Alice going to find a prostitute who looked like her so Loki could 'get his rocks off' and tell Vivian what Apocalypse's end game was,

"You are all so surprised" Voila laughed, "I have known Loki a long time. We met for the first time on his 18th birthday"

"Viola helped him become a man" Thor said proudly,

"Then what the hell was all that stuff last year about?" Vivian yelled

"I was sure I would never return to Asgard and never see Vi again and if I did return she would want nothing more to do with me. You remind me most of her" Loki said to Vivian

"Hello Miss Rose it's so nice to meet you" Viola said with a smile that make a chill run down Vivian's spine, she looked like a snake who was toying with its prey before devouring it whole,

"Yeah you too" Vivian said

"Well I guess I need to set another place at the table" said Pepper, "I only hope I have enough food"

"Pep you have enough food to feed an army" Alice said, "I'm sure we have enough. Can I say I love your jewellery" Alice said turning to Viola with a snake like smile of her own,

"Thank you they were all handmade" Viola replied

"You have wonderful craftsmen on Asgard then" Alice said admiring Viola's crescent moon necklace with small green stones,

"Oh no Loki made them for me with magic" she said,

"Wow magic jewellery that kind of puts Tiffany's to shame" Alice laughed, "But I think I prefer Tiffany's" she said tucking a piece of hair behind her ear and showing off a small silver hoop in her ear and making the various bracelets Steve had gotten her from the store in question for Christmas on her arm jingle as she moved,

"Can we move the meeting of scary tall women inside please?" Vivian said, "I'm fucking freezing" she huddled closer to Bruce who laughed and put his arms around the smaller girl leading her inside,

"I have to admit I'm fucking starving" Alice said linking her arm with Steve's and heading in again,

It was then that Viola noticed the large grin on Thor's face,

"Why are you grinning so?" she asked

"Because now I can spend Christmas with my family" Thor said and while Viola didn't quite understand what was going on she was happy to be with Loki and Thor was happy to be with his family.

Because this was his family and he found it all on his own, it was small and a little broken but it was still good. Yeah. Still good

* * *

**Unbelievably twee and Disney**

**(Yes that last line _is _from Lilo and Stich)**

**And look! **

**A Vi cameo**

**I'm gonna start putting her in more things now to do with my tie ins since I love her so much and everyone who reads my Vi/Loki oneshots seems to like her too**

**Reviews are lovely**


	12. A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

One of the things Alice was most proud of was her old Polaroid camera which she'd had since she hit double figures age wise. Throughout the various bonding exercises thought up by Pepper the camera had come along and there was a room in Stark Tower specifically for pictures.

There was one of Alice in her Star Spangled Girl outfit with Steve on her arm looking slightly embarrassed, another of Vivian running amok with her Portal Gun taken by Tony Stark because he thought it was hilarious of course that was before Vivian used it on him, Peppers favourite was one of her and Tony that Alice had taken while Tony didn't know she was there. Pepper was sitting at the edge of her desk and Tony was smiling at her.

Alice's favourite was one Pepper had taken on a Saturday night when Alice had gotten very drunk when she and Tony turned 'never have I ever' into 'don't judge me but' Alice was having trouble standing so Steve was helping her stand up and Alice had taken to singing Lana Del Ray,

"He holds me in his big arms / Drunk and I am seeing stars" she sang quietly and Pepper just had to snap the picture,

Thor seemed intrigued by the idea of the camera and after a quick tutorial from Alice on how to work it asked if he could bring it to Asgard with him the next time he went back to take pictures of his home for everyone to see,

"Alright but if you break it I'll murder you in the most vicious way I know how" Alice said, no one bothered to tell her Thor was basically a god or that she only weighed a hundred and ten pounds because they all believed she would and could really kill him,

"You have my word" Thor said,

"Hm" was all Alice said before walking away most likely to sharpen the hunting knife she kept under her bed,

"You'd better go before she thinks twice about giving you the camera" Tony said, truth be told he was a little afraid of Alice and Vivian not that he'd ever admit that to anyone

* * *

Thor left in May was gone for two months and when her returned it was the third of July and he'd brought Loki and Viola who seemed to make Loki more peaceful than anyone but Thor was used to, on the other side of the coin she also seemed to encourage the cold, cruel side of him,

"I know girls like that. They get off on the cold, cruel thing" Alice said, "Also every time you see the butt hurt one scan him for marks on his skin" she wouldn't say why but after that every time anyone saw Loki they seemed to notice little red marks all over his pale skin and when someone pointed it out he made a face and Viola would laugh and give Alice a conspiratorial look which no one was brave enough to ask about.

It was Vivian, who best put it into perspective,

"They're like snakes. Vipers about to kill you but before they do they want to torment you" after that everyone referred to Alice and Viola as 'the viper twins'

After Thor handed Alice back the camera and all the pictures everyone gathered around to see what Asgard was like. Most of the pictures were blurry or had a finger mark over the lens but what people could see of Asgard it looked like the emerald city in the Wizard of Oz only gold.

There were giant gold structures everywhere and the one picture Thor managed to take properly became everyone's new favourite, well everyone but Loki.

It was a picture of Loki and Viola in a grand library with stacks make out of gold, there was a huge stain glass window and the sun shone through it illuminating Viola and Loki who were sitting on the ground surrounded by pillows Loki had his back to the window and Viola was sitting between his legs as he read from a large leather bound book.

Loki hated it since he said it made him look soft,

"And that picture of Thor with Cathulu doesn't make him look soft at all?" Alice laughed, the picture in question had been taken one wet November day when Vivian rescued a stray cat and brought it to SHIELD to see if anyone would take it home, Thor having never seen a cat before thought it was the most amazing thing ever and even when the cat got so startled by this giant of a man picking it up and clawed Thor's arms he still didn't let it go. So the picture was of Cathulu sleeping in Thor's arms and Thor looking down at him amazed.

So the picture of Loki and Viola was blown up like the rest and hung in the room especially for pictures.

No one knew but Steve had a box of pictures too but they were all of Alice and they'd been taken when she was too preoccupied with something to notice he was taking pictures of her. That evening everyone was going up to Tony's beach house in the Hamptons to celebrate Alice's birthday, they were going to have a party on the beach so when they reached the house Pepper and Alice took Viola with them to get ready for the party. Thor and Steve started a bonfire and Tony got a cooler from the basement and filled it with ice, which Loki was in charge of, and beer.

When the girls came out again they'd managed to get Viola into a white summer dress with her hair pinned up letting everyone see what looked like a rather large burn on her neck, Thor and Loki ignored it so everyone else did too,

"It's been there for a while" Viola laughed when Vivian questioned her about it, "About a year"

"It looks really painful"

"It was but it isn't anymore" Viola said as Alice handed her a beer,

"Many Happy Returns" Viola said accepting the beer,

"Thanks" Alice smiled and walked off to find Thor and Steve, she pulled Thor to one side, "Did you bring back that stuff you were talking about?" she asked

"Aresmead" Thor said taking a bottle out from his armour somewhere, "But I do not see why you wanted it"

"You will" Alice poured the mead into one red plastic cup and a beer in the other and handed Steve the mead while she sipped her beer,

"It's not like you to be ladylike" Tony said, "You're up to something"

"You're paranoid" Alice said bluntly of course later when Steve was blind drunk and Alice was smiling like the Cheshire Cat that people realised what she'd done, in two drinks no less.

Later in the evening the group marvelled at the fireworks someone was letting off and left Alice and Steve on the beach together since Alice said she'd take care of Steve,

"You look really pretty" Steve said when he finally ran out of energy and sat down in the sand next to Alice,

"Thanks" Alice couldn't keep the smile off her face,

"You should always smile. You're prettiest when you smile. No that's a lie, you're prettiest when you don't think there's anyone around and you're just you. Those are my favourites pictures"

"What pictures?" Alice asked

"I'm not telling you because you'll get rid of them" Steve said,

"I wouldn't"

"You know you could give Loki a run for his money with some of the lies you tell" Alice stared at Steve intently; she'd only really known him for a little while. It had taken her at least three years to be open and honest with Vivian but somehow Steve could see right through her, "I love you" he slurred

"I love you too" Alice laughed, "You're the bestest" she said and leant in for a kiss, "Let's go swimming"

* * *

When Steve woke up the next morning he had no idea why he had melted candle wax on his stomach or why Alice had a rather large bite mark on her shoulder or why he felt so exhausted,

"Alice?" Steve questioned the sleeping girl,

"Sweetheart I love you and all but I can't go again I just can't"

"How many times did we –"

"I just got to sleep" Alice said, "We were at it all night" she propped herself up on her elbows her hair falling around her like a curtain, "Don't you remember?"

Steve thought about it for a moment and the night before came back in glorious Technicolor, Alice giving him something in a red cup feeling rather giddy and elated and light headed. Going 'swimming' with Alice and then coming back to the room, "Are you alright?" Steve asked knowing full well he'd used all of his strength if he felt as tired as he did,

"My legs won't work. I tried to get up to pee and they just don't work" Alice laughed

"You're laughing?"

"Yes I'm laughing. This is a good thing"

"I don't think I'll ever understand you" Steve said as Alice lay back down and put her head on his chest,

"Actually you do. Rather well. It's strange"

"Good strange or bad strange" Steve asked

"Good. Definitely, good" Alice yawned before closing her eyes and falling asleep. Steve just watched her for a while before he fell asleep himself.

Pepper didn't have the heart to wake them when she went to see what had happened that they didn't come down. Instead she took a picture with the last of the film in Alice's camera.

Alice didn't know Pepper had taken the picture and she didn't know Steve kept it in his compass from his army days along with a box full of pictures of her just being herself.

It was Steve's most treasured possession

* * *

**Very twee and very cute**

**Inspired by Lana Del Ray's "Video Games"**

**Reviews?**


	13. Superfamily

A bone of contention in my marriage to Steve Rodgers, Super Soldier, was kids. He desperately wanted them but I had my misgivings.

Firstly what if I turned into a woman like my mother and ruined the life of whatever potential child I had causing him or her to hate me for all of their natural lives and run away from home when they got the chance.

Secondly while I had no doubt that any offspring of Steve's and mine would be beautiful and amazing he or she was not welcome in my womb. I wasn't big on pain or needles and the prospect of a tiny alien living inside me for nine months only to push its way rather forcefully out of my perfectly good vagina in hours of pain and tearing. No thank you.

Eventually Steve talked me into it and we made the compromise. We would adopt. That way we could become parents, we would be giving some poor child a chance at a better life and nothing tore its way out of my vagina.

So I dressed in my best clothes careful not to go to over the top in case the people at the hospital where Steve had arranged for us to go, apparently there was a shocking amount of women having babies and then just leaving them in the hospital. So the hospitals started letting people adopt babies.

On that particular June morning I was feeling more nervous than I'd ever been in my life,

"But what if the women in the hospital don't like the look of me" I said rubbing the back of my neck self consciously,

"They'll love you" Steve said placing a kiss on my temple, "Just be yourself"

"Myself is aggressively sexual and phenomenally creative in bed not to mention violent with an arsonist for a best friend" I said my nerves making my whole body shake,

"Come on it'll be fine" Steve said taking me by the hand and leading me to the car he'd bought specifically so I wouldn't have to ride his motorcycle in a skirt, never mind that I'd done it before and had tried insisting it would be fine, not to mention that when you sit on a motorcycle without pantyhose or leggings on you can feel every vibration between your legs.

When we got to the hospital I was still shaking but I resolved to be the best me I could be,

"You must be the Rodgers'!" a woman with long curly dark hair dressed in pink scrubs greeted us with a smile,

"Hi I'm Steve and this is my wife Alice" Steve introduced us to the nurse

"Hi" I said meekly, something new for me. Steve took a hold of my hand and squeezed reassuringly,

"Well come on then I'll introduce you to some of the kids" the woman took us down a series of corridors until we arrived at a large window where rows of babies in cribs either lay sleeping or simply marvelled at their new bodies, one little boy in particular was just lying perfectly still and staring at the ceiling,

"What's his name?" I asked the nurse,

"Oh that's Peter he's our newest addition. His Mother was in a bad way when she had him, drugs I think. And after he was born and she had rested we went to check on her to try and get Peter feeding and she was gone" the nurse said,

"He's so small" I said

"We think he was premature. His mother was quite young so I'm sure she didn't know how to take care of herself properly" the nurse explained,

"Steve we're adopting Peter" I said, the poor thing was all alone in the world his mother had run away from him probably thinking that he would be better off with another family,

"Are you sure?" Steve asked, "I thought you wanted a girl"

"No. I want Peter" I said leaning on the glass, "Can I hold him?" I asked the nurse,

"Not until the adoption is final" she said, "Why don't you both come with me and we'll start the ball rolling"

We followed the nurse to an office where she took down our details, home address, annual income which was a little difficult to explain – after all working for a top secret government agency didn't have a steady annual income, would someone always be around for the baby.

When we got back to the car I turned to Steve,

"Steve you're calling in as many favours as you can get. That little boy is coming home with us by the end of the week"

"I'll do my best" Steve said kissing my cheek

When we got home I started calling round everyone I knew to see if they could call in favours to help. Natasha and Pepper were right on the ball calling everyone who owed them favours for work done or people assassinated.

Even Director Fury offered to help saying he knew some strings he could pull that would get Peter home with us within the hour, I declined saying that a dozen or so Secret Agents showing up in the hospital out of the blue might raise some eyebrows no matter how desperate I was to have Peter home with us.

Instead I took into decorating the room we'd picked out as a nursery for Peter with Steve's help. He was much more artistically inclined than I was and was able to draw all the Disney Characters I requested on the walls. We baby proofed the apartment and I set about buying Peter all the clothes I thought he'd need plus more.

On Thursday we got the call, our adoption was approved and we could come and pick up Peter the next day. Needless to say I was straight on the phone thanking everyone for everything they'd done.

That evening I couldn't sleep with the anticipation, in the morning Peter Parker would become Peter Parker – Rodgers. I wanted him to keep his own name so that maybe in the future if he wanted to find his Mom he'd be able to.

Friday morning at nine sharp Steve and I were in the hospital waiting for the nurse to bring Peter out. As soon as she handed to him to me I felt happier than I'd ever been,

"Hi Peter" I said softly as his little pudgy arms reached up to touch my face, "I'm your Momma and this is your Daddy" I said going over to stand by Steve, "We're parents" I honestly thought my face was going to split in half I was smiling so much.

When we finally got Peter home I refused to let him go even when he became a dead weight in my arms after he'd fallen asleep in the car ride home. Of course I didn't realise how difficult raising a baby was, even if Peter was an angel most of the time

* * *

One Saturday I had gone out with Pepper and Natasha and Steve was looking after four year old Peter in the apartment. The way Steve told it he turned his back on Peter for a second to get him some juice and he was on the ceiling,

"Peter! How did you get up there?" Steve asked panicking

"I climbed!" Peter said proudly then realising he couldn't get back down again began to cry, "Daddy help I can't get back down!" he yelled his little nose bubbling up with snot,

"Don't worry bud Daddy's got you" Steve said jumping up to grab his son, "You can let go now Daddy's got you" Peter wrapped his little arms around Steve as they landed back on the ground again.

Steve stood Peter down and got a tissue to wipe his nose and brushed the tears out of his eyes, "There you go champ all better" Steve smiled,

"Can I watch cartoons?" Peter asked seeming to forget all about his adventure,

"Of course bud" so Steve and Peter sat down in front of the television and watched cartoons until I came home,

"Momma's home" I called into the apartment as I shut the door behind me, seconds later Peter had attached himself to my legs,

"Momma! I missed you! I got stuck on the ceiling and Daddy had to jump up and get me down" he said with big wide eyes,

"Wow that sounds like an adventure. Why don't you draw me a picture and we'll put it on the refrigerator?" I said kindly,

"Ok!" Peter ran off to his room and I rounded on Steve,

"Steve?"

"Um yes?"

"HOW DID OUR SON GET ON THE CEILING?" I yelled,

"I don't know! I took my eyes of him for two seconds to get him some juice and then he was on the ceiling. He said he climbed up"

"I'm going to kill Tony Stark!" I grumbled, we'd been visiting Viv and Bruce in Stark Tower about a month ago and Peter wanted to look around the lab so Tony said he'd look after him but something had happened, which when you have a curious four year old you're always prepared for, and Peter was bitten by a radioactive spider Bruce was using in one of his experiments,

"Look all this means is that he's special" Steve said trying to calm me down,

"Momma are you and Daddy fighting because of me?" Peter's small voice asked, I looked to the door of his room where he was clinging to the frame the way he did when he was upset,

"Oh no sweet boy Momma was just so scared! I mean you were stuck on the ceiling and Daddy had to save you. I'm just glad you're ok" I said swooping down to lift him into my arms, "Momma loves you very much"

"I love you two Momma!" Peter said burying his face in my hair

* * *

After that Peter was more or less a model child. Extraordinary of course but he learned to control his abilities. In school he was top of his class no matter what, where the kid got his brains from was a mystery on to itself but it didn't stop Steve and I being proud, doting parents.

When he was sixteen however he got into a bit of trouble in school. When Peter was fourteen he'd come to me in tears, telling me how confused he was about everything. I'd had the birds and the bees talk with him when he was entering high school so he knew the basics and I suspected a little more from his friends a boy called Wade Wilson and another boy called Harry Osborne.

Apparently Peter was having 'weird' feelings about Wade and didn't know what to do about them. When I decoded 'weird' I knew he was talking about being attracted to Wade,

"Sweetie love is love it doesn't matter if it's a boy or a girl. Your Dad and I will always love you no matter what"

"Thanks Mom" Peter said, and rushed off to his room. Now being a concerned Parent I picked up the phone once I heard Peter talking on the cordless one in his room,

_"Wade! Hi it's Peter listen do you want to meet me in the park? I need to talk to you about something" _Peter said,

_"Sure. I'll leave now. Is your Mom ok with you leaving after curfew?"_ Wade asked

_"I'll just tell her I'm working on my science homework and sneak out the window"_ Peter said and I had to stifle a laugh, the boy was more like me than he thought,

_"Right on! I'll meet you in the park then" _Peter hung up the phone as did I rushing back to the sofa and picking up a glamour magazine,

"Mom I'm gonna work on my science homework kay?" Peter said rubbing his left arm a tell tale sign he was lying,

"Of course hon" I said going along with the lie knowing when the door closed Peter would scale his wall and head to the park.

That was the night Peter and Wade started dating. Peter told me the next morning feeling guilty for sneaking out of the house but I just laughed it off, "Peter if sneaking out to profess your love for someone is the worst you'll ever do then I count my blessings"

"Thanks Mom you're the best"

* * *

Over the next two years Peter and Wade's relationship matured and Wade was over more often than not, Peter had begged me not to tell Steve so I didn't and Steve thought they were just homework buddies.

Of course when I was washing certain stains out of sheets I knew they weren't just homework buddies and made a point of making sure Peter had a box of condoms in his room at all times, I didn't mind if they were having sex as long as they were safe.

I was at home when the call came, Peter had been in a fight along with Wade and Harry Osborne and was being suspended so would I please come and pick him up from school. I hurried over as quickly as I could and listened to the Principal telling me how the school abhorred fighting etc not once mentioning Harry Osborne's involvement as anything but a victim. I knew for a fact that Harry's father had the Principal and the board of director's in his back pocket so there was no way Harry was coming out of this as anything but a victim.

It wasn't until we were on our way home that I got the full story,

"Alright which one of you wants to tell me what happened?" I asked eyeing the two teens in my rear view mirror,

"You need to tell her Pete" Wade said

"Leave it Wade" Peter snapped back

"Peter Parker Rodgers you tell me right now what happened or I'm telling your Dad" I said glaring at my son who immediately tensed,

"Alright fine" he sighed, "Harry was going on about me dating Wade, saying it was 'un natural' calling us 'fags' and I wasn't rising to the bait but then he started to shout it really loudly"

"Ah" while Peter was out with me and Vivian he wasn't exactly out in school and something like being branded a 'fag' true or false was something that would damage him for the rest of his academic life not to mention what it would do to his career choices,

"That's when I stepped in" Wade said, "I told him 'Pete's Mom has this saying 'shut up I wear heels bigger than your dick' so you know what Harry shut up because at least Pete has someone to suck his dick!"

"Wade!" Peter said clearly uncomfortable with Wade talking about it so bluntly

"So then I said 'I'm sick of this asshole getting away with everything just because his Daddy owns the school!' and Pete says to me 'I know Wade but you didn't have to go that far!' and we were going to leave it but Osborne started up again, 'Why don't you two fags take your lovers tiff elsewhere?' he says and then Pete turned to him and said 'Shut up Harry!' and punched him right in the throat!" Wade finished,

"And it escalated from there" Peter said with his head hung low,

"That's really what happened?" I asked, Peter nodded, "Well done Pete!" I said happily, "No one else has the balls to stand up to that brat so even if you were suspended I'm glad it was you. Of course the school will have rang your Dad so we're going to have to explain things"

Peter paled. We hadn't told Steve because being gay was something you just didn't talk about in the Forties and it wasn't like he was be disappointed in Peter for being gay but it would definitely be a shock,

"I know" he mumbled

When we got home Steve was waiting so Wade and I went into the kitchen while Peter and Steve talked,

"Alice" Steve called, I walked into the living room to see Peter sitting on the couch looking at me with pleading eyes,

"I got this" I said tapping him out, "Ok so your son has just told you he's gay"

"How long have you known?" he asked

"Two years. He snuck out of the house one night to meet Wade and they've been dating since" I explained, "He didn't want to tell you because he thought you'd be disappointed in him"

"I would never be disappointed in him!" Steve said,

"Well it's not an easy thing to do to come out when your Dad is a Super Soldier from the Forties" I said, Steve was quiet for a minute then he got up and walked into the kitchen,

"Peter I'm disappointed that you didn't tell me about this sooner but make no mistake you're my son and I love you" he said pulling Peter into a hug,

"Thanks Dad"

"And while I think it's great that you stood up against a bully I don't approve of the way you handled this"

"Me either" Peter admitted, "I just sort of lost my temper"

"That's your Mother"

"Hey!" I protested, "I'm not the one who had a stage show about punching Hitler in the face!"

"No but you are the one who has a gun in the drawer beside her bed and a box of weapons under the bed" Peter laughed,

"I have to give you that one" I conceded, "Right well I'm activating my phone tree. Steve I'll draw you up a list and you can go to the liquor store and technically Peter you're grounded for getting expelled so you have to go to your room. And try not to make a mess I just tided up in there"

"Are we having a party?" Steve asked

"We are, to celebrate our son coming out of the closet"

"Mom! No!" Peter said before being manhandled into the room by Wade

Later that evening everyone had descended on the apartment to congratulate Peter on his coming out. Natasha said she had a feeling and Clint said solemnly that while he approved greatly of Peter's life choice he just cost him twenty dollars.

Bruce seemed to be the only person who didn't want to make a big deal of Peter's sexuality and instead spoke to him about school,

"So how are you getting on in school?"  
"OK I guess. I don't know if this suspension will affect my GPA"  
"Sweetie you have a 4.0 GPA I doubt a little suspension is going to do anything about that and anyway you'll just make it up" I argued

"Not great parenting Mom" Peter laughed

"I think she's a great Mom" Wade said putting his arm around Peter

"You would" Peter grumbled, Wade shut him up with a kiss that made everyone but Steve and Bruce whoop with joy

* * *

**This was a really long one**

**I had a hard time writing Alice being excited about baby Peter because of my own views on Babies (they're evil)**

**But I like how this turned out**

**I'm still working on Smells Like Teen Spirit and will have another update out just as soon as I can type it. It would be so easier if I had transcripts of the episodes because as it stands I'm stopping and starting my downloads for dialogue.**

**Reviews?**


	14. Super Btch

Alice gets poisoned and needs blood. Steve gives his and she becomes a super soldier too. Vivian takes the piss and Bruce asks if she shouldn't be more sympathetic "I am being sympathetic! Its not her fault she's a freak. If I didn't make fun of her she'd think something was wrong!" Viv starts calling her "Super Bitch" and Tony makes a joke about him being 'inside her' and Thor, Loki and Vi have no idea what's going on.

Peter was in class when his phone buzzed in his pocket,

"Pete your phone" Wade whispered in his ear taking his hand off Peter's thigh for a moment so the other boy could check his phone. Peter scanned the message and almost dropped his phone, "Pete?" Wade questioned, "Peter what's wrong?" the colour had drained from Peter's face and he was quickly packing away his books as he text whoever it was back

"Mr Rodgers where exactly do you think you're going?"

_"Will Peter Rodgers please report to the principal's office please"_ a smooth sounding voice came over the intercom as Peter swung his backpack over his shoulder and exited the room, not noticing that he'd left his phone on the table. Wade picked the phone up to see just what had spooked Peter so badly,

_'Pete I need to tell you something important. Don't text me back until you can because I know you're in school right now'_ it looked like it was from his Dad

_'It's fine I'm in English class and really couldn't care less about what Shakespeare meant when he made Prince Hal in Henry IV a party boy'_ was Peter's reply

_'Peter you're going to have to go to the office. Aunt Viv is going to pick you up a little early. I can't really talk on the phone right now so if your teacher has any questions show her this message or have her call me later. It's an emergency_' well that definitely wasn't good

_'What? What's going on? Are you and Mom ok? You're scaring me here'_ was Peter's frantic reply,

_'Your Mom's been hurt. It looks like poison. Uncle Bruce is doing everything he can for her. Just go to the office and wait on your Aunt Viv ok?' _shit, Wade liked Pete's Mom she was always cool with him hanging around their house like a bum and had kept his relationship with Peter a secret from the Cap because Pete had asked her to, not to mention there were always condom's in Pete's room when Wade knew for a fact that Pete never bought any because he was too embarrassed,

_'Holy shit what happened?'_ there was no reply so Peter's messages became more frantic, _'Dad! Tell me what happened!'_ still no reply, _'DAD YOU CAN'T JUST SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT AND THEN IGNORE ME!'_

_'I can't text right now Peter I'm in the med bay. Just go to the office and Aunt Viv will bring you over here. But please I need you not to worry. I love you 3'_

Wade got up from his table Peter's phone still in his hand and not bothering about his books or his teacher yelling at him and ran as fast as he could to the front office where he caught Peter and his Aunt Viv before they left,

"I'm coming with you" he said grabbing a hold of Peter's hand,

"Sure come on then get in the car" Vivian said to the two teens who piled into the back of her 1963 Camaro and headed for SHIELDs Helipad base.

Wade kept a hold of Peter's hand the entire journey and was right behind him when Peter bolted out of the car before Vivian had shut of the engine and ran through the halls to the medical bay,

"Dad" Peter called as he threw open the doors,

"Peter" Steve stood to embrace his son,

"Oh my god Mom" Peter said dropping to his knees beside his mother's beside, she was hooked up to a heart monitor and had what Wade could only assume was anti venom in an IV drip, the message did say she'd been poisoned,

"She's not getting any better. We've had her on the anti venom for three hours now" Bruce said softly to Steve hoping Peter wouldn't hear,

"What! What's wrong with her?" Peter yelled tears pricking the corners of his eyes,

"I don't know Peter" Bruce said, "She killed whatever it was that attacked her but it managed to inject her with a pretty lethal dose of poison. I managed to synthesise an anti venom but it doesn't seem to be working"

"What if we can flush the venom out?" Peter asked, "If we transfer a high dose of blood into her system via plasmapheresis"

"I've tried that Peter but it just doesn't work" Bruce said,

"Then use my blood!" Peter cried, "I heal faster than normal people and I'm strong too!"

"I can test you but I don't know if you'll be a match or not" Bruce said, "Since you aren't biologically related"

"Test me too Doc" Wade said putting his hand on Peter's shoulder,

"And I!" Thor said striding into the medical bay,

"Me too!" Vivian said,

"And me!" Tony said standing up,

"And me" Steve said finally, if Natasha and Clint had been there Bruce knew they would have demanded to be tested as well,

"Nurse" Bruce called and the resident nurse came over to begin testing

* * *

As it turns out only Steve was a match for Alice's blood type so Bruce took as much of it as he could which seriously weakened Steve but he wouldn't lie down until he knew Alice was going to be ok,

"She's my wife Bruce I need to know she's ok"

"I understand" Bruce told him as he began the transfusion, "All we can do now is wait, and hope"

And that's what they did. For hours. They just waited. Waited for a sign of life. For her to move. To smile. To swear. Anything.

Finally after everyone had lost track of how long they'd waited Alice moved. It was subtle at first just a twitch of her nose, Peter was the first to notice,

"Mom" he rushed over to her bedside, "Mom?"

"Pete" Alice groaned her eyes flickering open, "Hey Pete how are you" Peter couldn't say anything and just dissolved into tears not caring who could see him, "Hey what are you crying about I'm still here aren't I? The cool parent still lives" she joked putting her hands on her son's face to wipe away his tears the way she'd done when he was little,

"Momma" Peter cried throwing his arms around Alice,

"Easy kid, easy" Alice laughed putting her hands on his back as his body wracked with sobs,

"We thought you weren't going to make it" Steve said,

"It'll take more than a creepy brown alien to kill me" Alice said, "I'm a tough ol gal"

"Even tougher now if I'm reading this right" Bruce said looking at the monitor which displayed Alice's vital signs, "It looks like Steve's blood attached itself to your body on a cellular level"

"English Doc, English" Alice laughed

"You're a super solider now too" Bruce said,

"Super Bitch" Vivian yelled loudly making Alice laugh,

"Vivian maybe you could be a bit more sympathetic I mean she almost died" Bruce said quietly,

"I am being sympathetic. It's not my fault she's a freak" Vivian laughed and Alice knew this was just Vivian's way of saying she was glad Alice was still alive,

"Oh hello Wade I didn't see you there" Alice smiled at the other teen in the room,

"Hey Mrs Rodgers, I figured Peter might need someone here with him. I ran out of English class I'm probably in detention for doing it"

"Nah I'll just call them and tell them what happened" Alice said good naturedly, "If I can have a hug"

"Sure" Wade slowly made his way over to Alice's bedside where she grabbed him by the front of his shirt and pulled him into a large hug with Peter who was still clinging to her, it was an odd feeling Wade concluded to be hugged by a mother, his own mother had never shown him much affection and then one day she was just gone. That's when his Dad started hitting him – Wade shook those thoughts from his mind and enjoyed the first real hug from a mother he'd had in a long time,

"Now then Wade you need to take Peter home and make him sleep. Feed him too. Viv you're in charge"

"Sweet" Vivian laughed, "Come on boys I'll buy beer on the way home"

Steve didn't know whether she was joking or not and looked to Alice who just laughed,

"Trust me she won't be letting them drink" she said making Steve relax,

"So do you feel any different?" Bruce asked once Vivian and the boys had left the room,

"Yeah now that the Capsicle is 'inside you'" Tony added making Alice laugh loudly,

"I do not understand" Thor said,

"That's ok I don't want you to" Alice said still laughing, "And no I don't feel any different"

"Just used to it then" Tony said making Alice laugh even louder,

"You're awful" she said once she'd stopped laughing,

"Yeah well I'd better go tell Pepper you're ok. She was a mess"

"See you" Alice waved Tony out of the medical bay,

"I too will take my leave. I am glad to see you back in full health" Thor said kissing Alice's hand before he left,

"So when can I go home?" Alice asked

"I want to run some tests –" Alice groaned, "But you should be able to go home first thing tomorrow morning" Bruce finished,

The next morning Steve insisted on carrying Alice bridal style to the car and then into the house,

"Steve I'm fine really you don't need to act like I'm made of china" Alice said patting her husband on the chest,

"Welcome home Mom" Peter said vaulting over the couch to embrace his mother again while Wade just turned his head away from the television to watch the scene unfolding before him,

"Hey Mrs Rodgers" Wade waved as Alice turned in his direction,

"Have you two been good? Respecting Aunt Viv's authority?"

"I'm always good. I am hurt that you would think otherwise" Wade laughed

"And I know you'd never do anything that would get you into trouble" Alice said addressing Peter, Peter flinched he really didn't like the tone of voice she was using, "Did you think I wouldn't notice? I raised you Peter I know you better than you know yourself and I'd recognise that ass anywhere. And that ass is grounded for three weeks"

"Mom!" Peter whined, "You and Dad do it every day why should I do any less"

"I'm confused" Vivian said from the couch

"Well you remember a couple of days ago the Avengers met a kid calling himself Spiderman?" Alice said,

"Yeah"

"It was Peter"

"Shit really? I thought it was one of Xavier's kids" Vivian said blowing the air out of her cheeks,

"But Mom three weeks isn't fair!" Peter protested

"Life isn't fair. Now then Wade I'm sorry but you'll have to go home. We'll see you again in three weeks"

Wade looked like he was going to protest but Alice silenced him with a stern look,

"Cya Pete" he mumbled before leaving the house, if Alice didn't nail Pete's windows shut he'd sneak back in later.

Of course when he tried this he found Alice waiting for him with a smile plastered on her face,

"You think you're the first person to sneak into a boy's room in the middle of the night?" she laughed, "Peter's a lot like his Dad but you're more like me than you realise Wade"

"So does that mean I should climb back out the window?"

"Nah Peter's just gone to the bathroom he'll be back in a minute. I'll un ground him in the morning it ruins my reputation as the cool parent to enforce things"

"You're definitely the coolest Mom I've ever met" Wade said shutting the window as he climbed into Peter's room fully,

"Thank you Wade, now please try not to damage my son" she said leaving the room and heading back to her husband,

"How did you know Spiderman was Peter?" Steve asked as Alice climbed back into bed,

"A mother knows Steve. A mother knows"

* * *

**I've been reading a lot of Superfamily stuff recently and I just thought that Alice would make a really cool Mum**

**She's the kind of Mum who'll buy you beer and drive you to rock concerts and not care of you come home at three am reeking of whiskey but she can be stern Mum when she needs to be**

**Reviews?**


	15. Movie night

The fourth of July was always a big holiday in the Rodgers household with it being both Alice and Steve's birthday's,

"Does it bug you?" Wade asked Peter one afternoon, the two teens were lying in Peter's bed since he had the house to himself with Alice out shopping with Pepper and Natasha and Steve away on an Avengers mission,

"Does what bother me?" Peter asked

"That your Dad is like Ninety years old and your Mom is only in her thirties?" Wade clarified,

"Oh that? No. I mean it used to bother me when I was younger and had no idea what Mom meant when she teased my Dad about robbing the cradle, not that he knew what she meant either, still doesn't" Peter said,

"So is your Mom planning a huge party since this is a big day for your Dad?" Wade asked stretching his arms above his head, Peter watched as the muscles in his lover's chest tightened with the action,

"Mom does nothing by halves" Peter said knowingly,

_**# Well I ain't never been the Barbie doll type / No I can't swig that sweet champagne I'd rather drink beer all night #**_

"Hi Mom" Peter greeted scooping up his phone from where it had fallen out of the pocket of his jeans when said article of clothing had been forcefully removed from his person earlier,

_"Hey Pete I know you and Wade are probably busy but will you pick up the dry cleaning for me? There's a dress I want to wear tonight and I won't be done in time" _

"Sure Mom I'll pick it up. Do you have the ticket or is it somewhere in the house?"

_"Uh let me check my purse" _Peter waited on the line as Alice checked for her dry cleaning ticket, _"I don't have it so it's probably in the kitchen" _

"I'll check now" Peter grabbed his jeans and tugged them on before padding out into the kitchen, rummaging through a bowl Steve kept for receipts and tickets Peter came across the dry cleaning ticket, "Found it"

_"Thanks sweetie you're a life saver. Oh Aunt Natasha wants to know the next time your free for sparring"_

"Um tell her Tuesday"

_"He says Tuesday" _Peter heard some muffled speaking on the other end of the line, _"She'll pick you up from school"_

"Will you ask her to wear sweatpants please? I don't want to have to field a million questions about her again. I love her but she causes a state of panic in seventeen year olds"

Alice laughed on the other end of the line and Peter could hear her explaining things to Natasha, who also started to laugh,

_"She promises to wear a burlap sack if it'll make you feel more at ease" _

"Thanks Aunt Natasha" Peter said a little louder into the phone so the Russian woman would hear him,

_"Alright well I'll let you get back to Wade. How are you for condoms?"_

"Mom!" Peter hissed knowing full well his mother had just asked him about condoms in front of two of his aunts,

_"Oh don't be so embarrassed. Aunt Pepper and Aunt Natasha don't care that you're gay" _

"That's not what I'm embarrassed about Mom" Peter groaned, "but we're ok"

_"I'll pick some up on my way home anyway. I need more myself"_

"MOM! TOO MUCH INFORMATION!" Peter yelled into the phone,

_"Oh sorry honey" _Alice laughed, _"I'll hang up now. Love you"_

"Love you too Mom" Peter ended the call and hung his head, he could not believe how caviller his own mother was about condoms,

"What did your Mom want?" Wade asked as he slipped an arm around Peter's torso,

"She needs me to pick up the dry cleaning do you want to come with?" Peter asked turning around only to be confronted with a still fully nude Wade,

"Sure but why don't we go back to your room first" Wade asked with a smirk,

"Sure" Peter agreed, leaving his phone on the kitchen counter and allowing himself to be led back to his room

* * *

"Hi I'm here to pick up some dry cleaning" Peter said to the man behind the counter of the small dry cleaning store,

"Sure do you have a ticket?" the man asked, Peter handed over the ticket and the man went to look for the clothes,

"So what did your Mom say she wanted picked up?" Wade asked putting a hand in the back pocket of Peter's jeans making Peter yelp and jump away from Wade who smirked,

"She said there was a dress she wanted to wear tonight" Peter answered watching his boyfriend carefully,

"Here we are. That's ten dollars" the man behind the counter said appearing with something Peter had never seen in his life before, he handed over the cash and walked back to the house with Wade,

"Dude what the hell?" Wade asked as the teens stared at the dress Alice had asked them to pick up.

It was something Peter had only seen in the old USO videos his Mom had shown him when he had asked why she laughed every time Steve called her phone. The dress itself was pretty simple in design but it was the pattern that made it stand out.

The top of the dress was a light blue colour with white stars on the lapels while the skirt was pleated alternating between white and red,

"I have no idea" Peter was in a state of shock, where on earth had his Mom gotten a hold of one of these and what the hell did she wear it for,

"Momma's back" Alice's voice sounded from the front door and moments later she walked into the kitchen arms laden with bags as usual, Peter often wondered where she got the money to buy so much every week and still have enough for a college fund for him and be able to buy the house they lived in outright, "Oh good you got my dress" she said putting down her bags to examine the dress,

"Mom"

"Yes Pete?"

"What the hell?"

"Oh right I keep forgetting you've never seen this. Well back when your Daddy and I first started dating I thought I'd surprise him by finding this, mostly since your Aunt Vivian hacked Uncle Tony's server for fun and found those USO videos. So I bought the dress and I've had it since"

"I'm probably going to end up traumatised for asking this but why do you have it?" Peter asked

"If I told you I really would traumatise you" Alice said carrying the dress upstairs and into her room,

"Oh my god" Peter groaned realising just what his mother was saying, "My Mom has a dress for sex"

"It's a pretty cool dress if you ask me" Wade laughed trying to comfort Peter by placing a hand on his back and rubbing circles between his shoulder blades, "Where did she get it?"

"Craigslist" Alice said coming back down into the kitchen wearing the dress in question, "It belonged to some guy's Grandmother who was one of your Dad's dancing girls back in the day so I bought it off him"

"Alice, Peter I'm –" Steve stopped when he entered the kitchen to see Alice standing there in her USO dress,

"Hi Honey" Alice grinned tapping her nails, which Peter noticed had been painted blue with a red trim and a little white star, on the counter top, "I didn't think you'd be home so soon. I was half expecting you to arrive at Tony's later still in the suit"

"I um finished early. Doom bots aren't really that tricky"

"Oh that was what you were after. I should have come; I haven't been shooting in a while" Alice said thoughtfully, "Actually now that I think about it how would you boys like to learn to shoot? Of course the city isn't the best place for it ideally you want to go hunting and learn to shoot where you can't hurt actual people"

"Alice can we talk" Steve said quickly leading Alice upstairs into their room,

"So there's a party?" Wade asked Peter trying to change the subject,

"Yeah Uncle Tony is having a big party since it's Dad's Ninetieth birthday. Mom helped him organise it"

"So can I come?"

"Sure. You don't have an aversion to country music do you?" Alice asked coming back into the kitchen now dressed in dress she'd had on earlier that day, "Because I don't care what Tony says I'm playing country music"

"It's the Fourth of July Mom I think he'll let you" Peter laughed, "If not I'll just bring my canisters and web away all his CDs"

"That's my boy!" Alice praised ruffling Peter's hair,

"Mom" Peter half protested trying to shake his mother off, "Quit it!"

"It's not like I could tell the difference between this and the natural state of your hair anyway" Alice laughed as Peter tried to fix his hair, "You should take lessons from your Dad and the 'haircut of freedom' from the videos"

"Haircut of Freedom" Wade echoed,

"Oh you haven't seen the videos!" Alice exclaimed, "Peter go set up the Super 8 I'll make popcorn, STEVE WE'RE WATCHING YOUR VIDEOS!" Alice yelled up the stairs making Steve appear over the railing on the landing in nothing but a towel looking flustered,

"Which ones"

"Pre Italy"

"Oh not those, can't you at least show the Post Italy ones? The ones that aren't blatant propaganda"

"If we have time I'll show them all. Peter's setting up the Super 8 so you might want to come down if you want any say in what we watch"

"Just don't start without me!"

"I promise nothing"

"So what's the difference in Pre and Post Italy videos?" Wade asked

"Well before Steve went to Italy he was a dancing monkey, a poster boy to sell bonds. He went from state to state doing these god awful stage shows, which is where my dress comes from" Alice explained gathering everything required to make Popcorn, "Eventually they sent him overseas to rally the troops, didn't quite work. While he was in Italy he found out his best friend was missing presumed dead so he took it on himself to go and look for him. He was going to walk all the way into enemy territory if he had to, he didn't of course since Peggy Carter and Howard Stark offered to help. So he got dropped into the enemy base and he got everyone out and after that he was actually allowed to fight in the war and any footage you saw of him after that was him blowing the crap out of HYDRA"

"And only you could put it that way" Steve laughed putting an arm around Alice's waist and kissing her on the lips for what Peter considered a moment too long,

"Guys I'm still in the room" he coughed,

"So exit the room" Alice joked pulling Steve down for another kiss

"Ugh I'm so leaving" Peter exited the kitchen with Wade on his heels,

"I think it's great that your Mom and Dad love each other so much" Wade said flopping down on the couch next to Peter,

"Yeah just wait till later when Mom's drunk and telling everyone how she took my Dad's virginity in a storage closet on SHIELDs Helicarrier" Peter grimaced having heard that particular story many, many times before,

"Seriously, that's how your Dad lost it?" Wade almost fell off the couch laughing,

"It's not funny when it's _your_ Dad" Peter said glaring at his boyfriend,

"Right sorry" Wade said trying to wipe the smile from his face,

"Popcorns ready!" Alice announced bringing a large bowl into the living room, "Peter fire it up"

"Oh come on Alice do we have to watch these?" Steve groaned as he appeared on the large screen in his first uniform,

"Who's strong and brave here to save the American way?" Alice sang along with the clip as Peter groaned internally and Wade watched with rapture as Steve knocked out Adolf Hitler multiple times.

Next were the propaganda films about Steve leading a platoon of men in front of a very bad green screen and talking about how they still needed good men to sign up. Finally they moved on to the news reels of Captain America blowing the shit out of Nazi Bases, "I still prefer the USO girls" Alice said stretching her arms above her head, she'd taken to lying on Steve's shoulder and had at one point actually dozed off, "And the haircut of freedom"

"Why do you call it that?" Wade asked,

"I don't know it just seemed to fit. Peter you need to go and get ready, Uncle Tony is sending a car to pick us all up and you know how Happy views Brooklyn. So take your skinny ass upstairs and put on the shirt and jeans I got for you today. I left something for Wade as well. I just guessed your sizes so if anything doesn't fit let me know and I'll return it" Alice said languidly from her spot on Steve's shoulder,

"Thanks Mrs Rodgers" Wade said with a genuine smile,

"Call me Alice, Mrs Rodgers makes me feel old" Alice said wrinkling her nose,

"What's wrong with Mrs Rodgers?" Steve teased,

"I just said it makes me feel old" Alice said closing her eyes and tucking her legs up beneath her, "If Pepper wouldn't kill me I'd almost tell Tony to stuff his party up his ass and just lie here all night. Pay the boys to go out for the night just so I could have you all to myself"

"You still could" Steve said rubbing circles on Alice's back,

"I think I will. PETER!"

"YEA MOM"

"TWENTY BUCKS EACH AND YOU GUYS LEAVE THE HOUSE AND FIND SOMETHING TO DO ALL NIGHT"

"DEAL" Peter came bounding down the stairs with his t-shirt off and hair once again messy, "I'll just take the money out of your purse"

"Take condoms wherever you go" Alice said noting her sons appearance,

"Mom" Peter tried to protest but Alice was already shooing him away. It only took a few minutes for Peter and Wade to pound down the stairs as teenagers are want to do and leave the house,

"I'll call Pepper" Alice said leaning over Steve to get the phone and quickly dialling Pepper's number, "Hi Pep listen none of us are coming over"

_"What do you mean none of you are coming over?"_

"I'm tired and the boys are gone"

_"You ended up watching Steve's movie reels didn't you?"_

"I did indeed"

_"Oh thank god I'm shattered" _

"Well yes you have a baby now and they're hard work. I mean you remember Peter as a baby"

_"Phil's not so bad, if he cries at night Tony's on it right away I think the arc reactor comforts Phil" _

"That's adorable and I demand pictures"

_"I'll do my best"_

"Take it easy won't you?"

_"You too"_ Alice hung up and then dialled Vivian, it went straight to voicemail,

"Party's off so you can keep working on whatever it is that's so important you won't even answer the phone to your best friend" Alice laughed and replaced the phone, "I'm gonna change" Steve's body went rigid for a moment, "Not into the dress relax. I don't think I can ever wear it again now that Peter and Wade know what it's for"

Alice was only gone for a few minutes and returned in a shirt she'd stolen from Steve, a pair of pyjama shorts, knee high socks, no make-up and her hair tied up,

"You look amazing" Steve smiled as Alice resumed her spot on the couch,

"So what do you want to watch?" Alice asked picking up the remote and flicking through the many movie channels,

"I don't mind. I don't really know many of the new movies anyway" Steve said putting his arm around Alice as she moved closer to him,

"That's true. God my husband is Ninety years old"

"Does it bother you?"

"Nah. I get to make geriatric jokes and no one can make me feel ashamed because I know you're not senile nor do you have arthritis and all your parts work just fine with no need for little blue pills. Although that is something we're going to have to try"

"Blue pills" Steve was confused,

"Viagra, it helps you stay _up_"

"Why do you want to try those?"

"I just do" Alice argued, "You should know I'm irrational by now. Hell you started dating me because I was irrational mess"

"Alright but can the blue pills wait" Steve asked

"Of course, I'm not about to drug you" Alice laughed finally settling on 'How to Make an American Quilt' and after assuring Steve he'd like it the two settled down with the rest of the popcorn and watched the movie.

Somewhere during the movie Alice had fallen asleep so Steve shut the TV off and carefully lifted his wife up from the sofa and carried her up the stairs to their room only pausing to take her hair down before drawing the covers of the bed up around her, "Mm Steve?"

"Yeah it's me"

"I fell asleep didn't I?"

"Yeah you did"

"Was I drooling?"

"No you weren't"

"Good" Alice moved so she was closer to Steve who put his arm around her waist and drew her in close before shutting his own eyes and falling asleep

* * *

**Kind of cute and not where I was going with this when I started **

**I was planning a big ol party with Alice and Tony arguing over musical choices and Pepper shutting them both up by playing Carly Rae Jepsen and they'd both agree to anything as long as she turned it off and then there was going to be a side fic where Thor really likes "Call Me Maybe" and drives everyone mad with it**

**But then this happened**

**Maybe it's because I started this and then ADD kicked in and now it's gone I dunno**

**Enjoy anyway**


	16. Meet the Family

Steve Rodgers was estactic. For the first time in seventeen years he was simply estactic.

After SHIELD had found intel saying that Bucky wasn't in fact dead but being kept in chryostasis in Russia by a covert cell of die hard Russian Soviets brainwashed to believe he was in fact "The Winter Soldier" another die hard believer in the Soviet cause.

After his extraction by Natasha and Clint Bucky had spent a lot of time in the lab where Tony, Bruce and Vivian had worked on un brainwashing him. It had taken the better part of a month because of how long he'd been brainwashed but it had worked and Steve had his best friend back.

Of course Bucky hadn't been able to leave right away. He had to undergo extensive testing to make sure he was back to normal. Finally Steve was able to spend time with his best friend.

Firstly Steve wanted to introduce Bucky to his new family,

"You got married?" Bucky asked with a smile

"Yeah she's pretty intense" Steve replied, "Pete's really smart though he's kind of a genuis. Alice says he gets it from his birth Mom"

"He's adopted?" Steve nodded,

"Yeah Alice was pretty freaked out about giving birth"

"I can understand that" Bucky agreed

So Steve and Bucky left SHIELD and decided to take the long way home so Bucky could see everything that had changed in the time he'd been gone.

When they arrived back in the small suburb Steve now called Home they were greeted by a loud cry of "fire in the hole" making both soldiers duck out of the way immeditely as a water balloon came speeding down past them hitting one of the suburbaite Mothers in the head causing her hair to flatten on her head and her make up to run down her face,

"Yes! Ten points!" Alice's voice rang out making Steve shake his head and head to the front door with Bucky on his heels

"No fair how come you got ten and I only got five" Peter asked as he and Alice descened the stairs

"Because I got a Mom you only got a daughter" Alice laughed, "Sorry about that Steve didn't want you caught in the cross fire. Although I wouldn't complain if the balloon hit you"

"Mom. Gross" Peter complained making a clearly disgusted face,

"Oh give it up" Alice laughed standing on her toes to kiss Steve on the cheek,

"Alice, Pete this is Bucky" Steve introduced putting a hand on the small of Alice's back,

"So you're the famous Bucky. I've heard so much about you" Alice offered a hand to Bucky who shook it

"Nothing good I'm sure" Bucky laughed

"Hey that's my line!" Alice protested with a smile, "Pete come say hi to your uncle"

"Hi" Peter said raising a hand in greeting, "I'd shake your hand but they're covered in web. And that sounds really bad"

"Pete moonlights as Spiderman" Alice explained, "Saving the world from muggings and car jackings"

"Thanks for phrasing it like that Mom. You make it sound so worthwhile" Peter said sarcastically,

"You're very welcome. I'm ordering Thai food who wants what?"

"Can we get Pizza instead? I'm craving pizza" Pete said following Alice into the kitchen

"Pizza sounds good actually" Alice's voice said from the kitchen,

"She seems nice" Bucky said to Steve as they walked into the kitchen

"I am nice" Alice said rooting through a drawer of take out menus,

"When you want to be" Peter said pulling a small black device from his pocket that Bucky didn't quite recognise,

"Cell phone" Steve said quietly it's a phone you can carry around with you

"Mom Wade wants to know if he can come over. Says he'll stop for the pizza"

"Don't be stupid that's what delivery boys are for. He'd be putting someone out of a job and in the current economy those kids need their jobs. Ask him what he wants on his Pizza"

Peter clicked away on the buttons of his phone as Alice finally found the menu she was looking for, "Found you. You sneaky bastard"

"He says he'll be round in fifteen" Peter said putting his phone back in his pocket, "I'm gonna go wash the webbing off my hands"

"So do you eat as much as Steve does?" Alice asked Bucky when Peter left

"I'm not sure I've only really been back a few days" Bucky said

"Hm I'll order a large one then. What do you want on it?"

"Um pepperoni?"

"Alright. Steve you want chicken right?"

"Yeah"

"Off I go then" Alice took her cell phone from her pocket and walked off to order

* * *

Later that evening when everyone was sitting down after the pizza had been devoured Alice decided to quiz Bucky on his relationship with Steve,

"So you knew him when a strong breeze would have sent him flying into the bay?" Alice joked

"Yeah this skinny little kid from Brooklyn too stupid to run away from a fight" Bucky laughed

"That sounds like Steve" Alice agreed

"I've seen the pictures it's almost like looking a different person" Peter said sitting between Wade's legs.

It was a shock initally for Bucky to see Peter kissing the other boy when he arrived but when Steve told him it wasn't really that big of a deal he went along with it. There were many things he would have to get used to,

"You know Tony has pop culture lessons every Thursday and we have parties every so often you should attend both" Alice said after a lull in the conversation,

"Yeah it sounds like fun" Bucky agreed,

"Right well I'm going to clean up and try to hit some more suburban Mom's with water balloons. Those women are honestly scary" Alice shook her head, "You guys want to come with?" Alice asked the two teens sitting on the ground,

"Sure sounds like fun" Wade grinned

"Bucky it was nice to meet you. I'm sure we'll see you around" Alice lifted all the pizza boxes and dumped them in the kitchen before heading back up to throw her waterbombs out the window,

"You were right she is intense" Bucky laughed as Steve walked him to the edge of the suburb, "but she's good for you"

"Yeah she is" Steve agreed, "You know she shot at me the first time we met"

"Really?" Bucky laughed maybe a little too loud making some of the suburbanites stare

"Yeah. She was in Vegas and stole from Tony"

"Sounds like a great girl" Bucky said sincerly, "And Peter's a great kid"

"Yeah I'm really happy. For the first time in years" Steve agreed, "And I'm glad you got to meet them"

"Yeah me too" Bucky waved and headed back to the SHIELD heli carrier. Steve turned and headed home and this time he actually did get hit with the water balloon Alice threw,

"Fifty points I win" she cheered,

"No you do not! Dad wasn't part of the game!" Peter challenged

"I don't care I hit a super soldier who has the reflexs of a jungle cat. That gives me fifty points and since I'm already ahead I win!"

"The game isn't over" Peter argued

"It's dark they've all gone inside" Alice argued back.

Steve just stood on the street laughing. He was glad to have his best friend back but he was even more glad to have this new family.


	17. Envy

"You know Cap I hardly ever see you at that café anymore" Tony announced one evening we were just lounging around Stark Tower under the pretence of a 'couples night' but really Tony just wanted Steve and Bruce over to scare the boy his daughter Maria was dating,

"What café?" I asked curious to know what Steve had been doing at a café that made Tony notice him,

"This café opposite Grand Central I used to see him all the time. I thought he was checking out that waitress"

"Really" I asked cocking an eyebrow in Steve's direction, "And how often was he there?"

"Almost every day" Tony said his lips curving upward in a deviant smile knowing just where I was going with this train of thought, "Even after you guys got engaged"

"Steven. Is there something you'd like to tell me?"

"Um" Steve flustered, just as I was about to ask another question Maria stepped through the door with Wade, Peter and Phil in tow,

"Hi Daddy" she said brightly but I could see in her eyes she'd one upped Tony by bringing home Wade, Peter and Phil instead of her boyfriend, "Hi Aunty Viv, Aunty Alice"

"Hi honey" I responded, "So Steve about this girl"

"Um hey Pete how come you aren't out tonight?" Steve asked avoiding the subject

"Maria called, said she wanted us to walk her home. Something about a boy"

"Your Uncle Tony rallied the troops to scare her boyfriend away" I explained, "And on that note" I rose from Tony's couch, "Steve you can find somewhere else to sleep tonight" I left the room quickly slamming the door behind me

* * *

The next morning I was up early, I spent a good three hours on my appearance and then called Vivian,

"I'm taking you out for coffee"

_"Ok where will I meet you?" _

"That café opposite Grand Central"

_"Where the waitress Stark was talking about works?" _I could hear the smile in her voice,

"This is no time to discredit my paranoia! You're getting coffee out of it!"

_"Alright calm your tits! I'll be there in ten" _Vivian hung up and I headed downstairs where Peter and Wade were watching something on the TV,

"Momma's going out for a while" I said walking past them my heels clicking on the tiled floor,

"Dad says he wasn't checking the waitress out he just liked to draw Apollo, Hercules and Minerva" Peter called after me

"Yes well we'll see about that"

I hailed a cab since my shoes were not practical to walk in at all and arrived at the café in just under ten minutes. I found a seat outside and waited on Vivian,

"Wow you're really out for this girl's blood" she commented on seeing me done up to the nines, Vivian herself had just thrown on an old t-shirt and pair of jeans along with some platform boots,

"I'm not out for anyone's blood I'm just sizing up the competition"

"Uh huh"

Moments later a young blonde haired girl came over to the table,

"Hi what can I get you?" she smiled and I could tell this was the girl Steve had been oogling,

"Two coffee's and two pieces of fudge cake" I said giving our waitress, Sharon, the once over. She really wasn't anything special a pretty girl but plain. I could see why Steve would like her.

Sharon disappeared back into the café and I turned to Vivian,

"She seems nice"

"That's what I'm worried about"

"You really don't think Steve would cheat do you? I mean isn't he Mr Morality?" Vivian asked

"Maybe but I'd prefer to be sure" Sharon appeared again holding a tray with two coffee's some sugar and cream along with two pieces of rather nice looking chocolate fudge cake,

"Enjoy" she smiled and left to attend another table where three elderly men were playing cards.

Vivian and I sat in silence as I glared daggers at Sharon and she simply enjoyed her coffee and cake,

"Alice!" I turned around abruptly at hearing Steve's voice, "Peter said I could find you here"

"We're checking out the competition" Vivian said matter of factly, "Or Alice is, I'm just watching her lose her marbles"

"I have all my marbles thank you" I said snidely,

"Alice I swear I only came here to draw!" Steve said handing me a handful of napkins he'd doodled on, the sky line, Grand Central, even one of Tony zooming past

"Oh hi Steve what can I get you?" Sharon's voice asked from behind me,

"Um hi Sharon I'm not here for anything really. Just meeting my wife"

"Oh you guys are married? That's great" Sharon walked off again,

"You're on a first name basis with her?" I asked incredulously

"Ok yes I used to come here a lot but that's only because I didn't have anywhere else to go. It was here or my apartment and Grand Central was the one thing that hadn't changed since I'd been asleep"

"And they have free wireless!" Vivian announced happily taking out her tablet

"There's nothing going on I swear" Steve looked at me with his big blue eyes and I felt all my anger and jealously fading,

"I still don't like the fact that you came here every day. Even after we got engaged"

"Tony was exaggerating"

"Then how are you on first name basis with the waitress?"

"Because she saw me sitting here one day said I looked lonely and asked my name" I fixed Steve with my best 'don't bullshit me' look, "There's no way I'm getting out of this with my dignity intact is there?"

"Shiny things make everything better" Vivian said, "Why don't you go to Tiffany's?"

"I did bring my bike. Are you ok to ride the bike in that dress?" Steve asked,

"I'll be fine. Come on Soldier"

"Bye!" Vivian called as I mounted Steve's bike and we wove through the traffic,

"Promise me something?" Steve asked as we stopped at a traffic light,

"What?"

"Next time you get jealous of a woman talk to me first?"

"I make no promises"

* * *

**Face claim time I think so just in case people have read these stories and not "Call of the Apocalypse" Alice's face claim is Eliza Dushku and Vivian's is Ksneia Solo**

**As for the kids well Peter is Andrew Garfield, Wade is Colton Haynes (cause for the purposes of my headcannon he's 17) Phil's is Diego Boneta and Maria's is Molly Quinn**


	18. A Storm is Brewing

"So you're the famous Alice Winters"

"Hm?" I turned my head to see a young man around my own age with short cropped dirty fair hair, he was wearing a pair of tinted sunglasses, an AC/DC t-shirt with blue jeans, black leather boots and a black leather jacket,

"I know you!" Vivian exclaimed, "You're Johnny Storm! You know Reed Richards!"

"Isn't he some sort of scientist?" I turned my attention back to Vivian,

"Some sort of scientist?" she asked me incredulously, "He's amazing!"

"I'll take your word for it" I said sipping my coffee, "I'm more interested in how you know me" I said turning my attention back to 'Johnny' who just laughed and took off his sunglasses fixing me with what I was sure was his best 'come hither' look,

"You're famous in certain circles" he said giving me the perfect example of a 'bad boy' smile

"Flattery will get you everywhere" I gave him a smile of my own, two could play this game, "But did you hear that Viv? I'm famous"

"Like your ego needed to get any bigger" she scoffed, "Here is Dr Richards with you?"

"Reed's in the lab talking to that other egg head Banner" Johnny said without really looking at Viv,

"In that case" Vivian grabbed her tablet and left the canteen, "I probably won't make it home"

"Just don't kill yourself" I said waving her off,

"So since the egg heads are all getting together why don't we grab a drink?" Johnny asked standing up and offering me his arm,

"Lead the way"

* * *

Johnny took me on his motorcycle to a small bar/nightclub in Alphabet City where he bought me a beer and grabbed us a small booth along the back wall which was secluded enough so we could be as close as possible without anyone disturbing us, "So you said I was famous in certain circles? And what circles would those be?"

"Well anyone connected to Nick Fury. He put out a sort of APB on you and your friend warning anyone that if they were to come in contact with you and it wasn't officially sanctioned by him or if it hadn't got something to do with that Avengers Initiative that you were to be reported to him right away because you were a dangerous con woman and thief and your friend was a dangerous hacker. There are even pictures, I printed yours out and stuck it on my wall" he smirked devilishly as if I should be so impressed by this act of compassion,

"Do you have a thing for bad girls Johnny?" I asked drawing out the syllables of his name as I snaked my hand up his thigh,

"I don't know. Are you a bad girl?" he breathed into my ear,

"I'm the worst" I said gripping his leg as hard as I could,

"Shit" he hissed at the momentary flash of pain,

"What's wrong? Don't you like it rough?" I asked huskily, I could feel his erection straining the denim close to my hand, "Because your body says you do" I removed my hand from his leg, "I feel like dancing" I left the table and headed straight for the dance floor without giving him a second look, of course he followed me like a puppy making me laugh,

"What's so funny?" he asked a grin plastered on his face,

"You are" I answered, Johnny grabbed my hips and pressed his body into mine,

"Oh yeah?"

"Mm"

"What's so funny about me?"

"Well maybe not just you but men in general"

"Oh so now I'm defined by my gender? That hurts babe" I rolled my eyes at his use of the term 'babe',

"I'm sure it does, although I'm not sure what could dent that ego of yours"

"Wanna try?"

"Why not, Vivian won't be home tonight so I could stand a little company" I grabbed Johnny by the front of his t-shirt and dragged him out of the bar

* * *

"That was – just – I can't even –" Johnny couldn't manage to string a sentence together and any words that made it out were almost breathless,

"I'm impressed you could keep up. Not a lot of guys can" I said absentmindedly,

"Well I'm not exactly known for being a one pump guy" Johnny said making me laugh a little,

"It's a good thing Vivian wasn't at home this evening she would have dumped a bucket of water on you for being too loud and for singing the couch, among other things"

"Sorry about that"

"Oh no don't be. I'm quite used to fire play actually and well it's only natural for one to get a few burns" Johnny's jaw dropped open, "That look is priceless. I'll never get bored of it"

"Fire play?"

"Mm, I've been around the block a few times"

"How many times is a few?"

"Well let me put it this way there isn't anything I haven't tried and if there is you can bet your sweet ass I'll be trying it as soon as I can find myself a bed fellow" I ran a hand through my hair pushing it off my face,

"I think I'm in love" Johnny said astounded,

"Oh baby boy love is for children and saps it's one of the many things the lovely Agent Romanoff and I have in common"

"Well I can't disagree with you there but I can't exactly agree with you either"

"All this psychological talk is making me sleepy. You're welcome to spend the night if you like" I said rolling over onto my side and drawing the sheets up around my body,

"I've never spent the night in a girls apartment before" Johnny laughed

* * *

The next day I made a point of going into SHIELD early to see just what the science nerds got up to the previous night, on the way to the lab I bumped into Steve who noticed the large mark Johnny had left on my neck,

"Did someone hit you?" he asked clearly concerned for my well being

"Oh no that's not a bruise" I laughed, "The young Mr Storm and I had a pleasant evening of dancing and he became quite enamoured with me" Steve's eyes narrowed and his jaw clenched, he clearly didn't approve of the way I'd spent my evening, "Well if you'll excuse me I really don't need to be berated for expressing my sexuality so I'll just go and see if the Super Science Team hasn't come up with a cure for cancer and aids and world hunger in an evening. Or if they've synthesised a new kind of alcohol" I made to walk past Steve but he grabbed my arm, and I raised my eyebrows at him,

"Go on a date with me"

"I'm sorry?"

"Go on a date with me" he repeated, "I want to take you out properly like you deserve" he seemed sincere enough,

"Now why would you want to do that? You don't even like me"

"I do"

"Come again for big fudge?"

"I do like you"

"You have an odd way of showing it" I said looking from his grip on my arm to his face and back to my arm,

"Oh sorry" he flustered removing his hand from my upper arm, "But I do like you. I think you're a very attractive young woman and smart too even if no one else can see it. So please let me take you out"

"Friday at eight, my apartment. Don't be late" with that I walked off hurrying to tell Vivian my news that my plan had worked,

"I never thought it would actually work" she laughed,

"I told you if I sleep with enough guys around here Steve is bound to notice at some point and it's going to get under his skin so he'll have to make a point of showing me just how you should properly treat a woman and well it's all a matter of being my normal charming self on Friday and I have myself a new beau"

"You're evil"

"Quite possibly"

* * *

**So I was on Tumblr and I saw gif sets for "The Losers" and I didn't realise Chris Evans was in it so I made a point of watching it online then I check to see what movies are on TV and low and behold there's "What's Your Number" so that put me in a Chris Evans mood as well and I ended up watching "Fantastic Four" and "Rise of the Silver Surfer" and through a conversation with the lovely Hana this came about**

**Reviews?**


	19. Hurricane Sandy

The word had gone out. Anyone living in a high risk area was supposed to leave their homes and head somewhere safe. So Alice, Steve, Peter, Amanda and Wade had packed up everything they'd need to survive the Hurricane and headed to Stark Tower where everyone was going to ride out the storm,

"Mama I'm scared" little Amanda was only five years old and this was the first time she'd ever seen a storm surge as much as Hurricane Sandy,

"There's no reason to be scared baby girl" Alice soothed her young daughter, "It's just a little bit of rain"

"Yeah Mandy everything's gonna be fine" Peter said scooping up his sister, "Come on why don't we play Hide and Seek? Phil, Maria and Wade to play too" this seemed to placate young Amanda so still hanging onto her brother's neck she headed off to play Hide and Seek.

The plan for the evening was simple. Once the kids had gone to bed or were generally out of the way in the state of the art gaming room Tony had set up for them then the adults would begin drinking to pass the time during the Hurricane and since Stark Tower ran on the Arc Reactor there was no need to worry about the power going out,

"So we're all in agreement. Next time Thor lands we're blaming the storm on him" Tony said downing the last of his glass of Scotch,

"Agreed" Vivian laughed pouring herself more whiskey,

"You guys are not going to believe this" Alice said from the window, "There's a guy down there jogging shirtless in a horse mask"

The group made their way over to the window and sure enough there was a man running past the tower in nothing but shorts, sneakers and a horse mask,

"Ten quid says his internet went out" Vivian said bluntly,

"You're probably right" Tony laughed, "Still he's got balls I'll give him that, it's freezing out there"

"Whoever he is he deserves a medal" Alice laughed before moving back from the window to go and check on Amanda.

* * *

A few hours in and Sandy was moving ever closer, according to the news places in Brooklyn and Long Island were losing power and a crane had collapsed in Midtown prompting Tony to head for his suit,

"I'll be back in five minutes" he promised, "I'm just gonna help them"

"Five minutes" Pepper agreed, "And for every minute you're late you have to buy me a new pair of shoes"

"Right. I'll be back in four then" Tony said giving Pepper a kiss on the cheek before leaving

"What an awful man, running out into the path of a hurricane and leaving his poor wife here alone –" Alice stared before arching an eyebrow at Steve,

"Five minutes" was all he said before he too was out the door and off to help with the Hurricane aid

"This is what I get for marrying a solider" Alice sighed and grabbed a bottle of mead Thor had left on his last visit, "Bottoms up ladies, and Bruce" Bruce gave Alice a nod and went back to working on whatever it was kept his attention.

Whatever it was clearly interested Vivian because every so often she would wander over and the two would talk animatedly about whatever it was before Bruce would go back to his tablet and Vivian would reclaim her seat in the middle of the lounge,

"Mama" Amanda's little voice carried throughout the lounge so before Alice could put the bottle to her lips she walked over to scoop up her little daughter,

"What's wrong baby?"

"I can't sleep. The storm is scary" Amanda rubbed at her tied eyes with a pudgy little hand,

"There's nothing to be afraid of baby girl, it's just wind and rain" Alice said as she crossed the lounge again and deposited Amanda in her lap, "I tell you what tomorrow we'll put on your waterproof boots and we'll go splash in some puddles"

Amanda seemed to like this idea so once again Alice put her down to bed and charged the older kids with looking after her since the games room was directly opposite the room Amanda was sleeping in.

* * *

True to their word five minutes later both Steve and Tony came back up into the lounge both soaking wet from the rain outside,

"Well did you help?" Vivian asked from behind the bar,

"Yeah we managed to help secure the world trade centre and we got the crane hoisted back up and chained down properly. There'll be a lot more to do tomorrow when the hurricane passes though" Steve said dropping down next to Alice,

"Oh no you're going to go dry off before you sit down" Pepper said, "Those cushions took weeks to find!"

"Come on soldier boy" Alice took Steve by the hand and led him off towards the showers.

When they returned Vivian was gazing out the window at the flooding below them, the look on her face told Alice that the small Brit had an idea that would more than likely get them into trouble, "What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking we go rafting down the streets of Lower Manhattan" Vivian grinned,

"Hey Tony have you anything we can use as a raft?" Alice asked the billionaire,

"I might, why?" he asked sceptically

"We're gonna go rafting" Vivian replied,

"Alice, don't you think that's a little dangerous?" Steve asked

"Of course it is but I'll only be five minutes. You don't mind looking after Mandy do you?" Alice asked with a smirk on her features,

"Great so now that's settled let's go rafting! Pepper you coming?" Vivian asked the blonde woman,

"You bet your ass I'm coming. Tony watch my shoes" Pepper took off her designer shoes and followed Alice and Vivian to Tony's lab where they found a glider Tony had been experimenting on after the Chutari invasion, he had more or less figured out how to make it work but it had never really progressed beyond that.

So since Alice was the strongest out of the three she carried it down through Stark Tower and out onto the street where the three women jumped on and allowed the current to take them through the streets of Manhattan.

* * *

The storm raged well into the night but then by morning the worst of it was over. It was still raining but it was safe for people to return to their homes and inspect the damage caused by Hurricane Sandy,

"Next time there's a hurricane I think I'm just going to stand on the roof naked with a bottle of bourbon and scream into the wind" Alice mused making both Steve and Peter pale, Wade however burst into peals of laughter,

"I'll have to see that" he laughed

"You can join in" Alice grinned, "Right then let's see just what Sandy did to my house"

* * *

**To everyone on the east coast of America right now be safe and know that all our thoughts and prayers are with you.**

**On a side note flooding and tree uprooting etc are rather common in Northern Ireland/England when we get a few days of heavy rain.**

**People here are so used to it by now it's just like "Oh dear another tree fell. Well dry it out we can use it to light the fire in the evening" **

**This oneshot was also partly inspired by the episode of How I Met Your Mother featuring Hurricane Irene **


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